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13 May 2007 @ 10:29 pm
SUBTEXT.  
Because this is what they were really saying during their little office meeting.


"Hello, Nicholas."
(Eyyyy!)

"Hello, Sergeant."
(Ugh.)

"How's the hand?"
(And your guilty conscience?)

"Still a bit stiff."
(I hate you.)

"It can get awfully hairy out there. I'm surprised you haven't stepped up sooner for a nice desk job. That's what I did."
(Especially after being gunned down by those druglords. Thanks. Also, thanks for having me reassigned here to get away from me and let me rot in this office. Prick.)

"I prefer to think my office is out on the street."
(This isn't about the whole Shakespeare sonnet thing, is it? Because I told you already: Nicholas Angel does not swing that way.)

"Indeed you do. Your arrest record is 400% higher than any other officer. Which is why it's high time that such...skills are put to better use. We're making you Sergeant."
(Yes, it's about the whole sonnet thing. You ruined my life, Nicholas. But I'll try playing nice for once.)

"I see."
(I don't trust you.)

"*mutters* In Sandford, Gloucestershire."
(YOU SHOULDN'T.)

"In where? Sorry?"
(Excuse you?)

"In Sandford, Gloucestershire."
(Payback's a bitch isn't it, Nicky?)

"That's... in the country..."
(WHAT?)

"Yes! Lovely."
(AHAHAHAAAA. I WIN.)

"Isn't there a Sergeant's position here in London?"
(This is about the whole... me-not-being-queer-thing, isn't it?)

"No."
(Yep! There is a position, but it's not like I'm going to let you have it. After that stunt you pulled. I'm a very persuasive person with the higher-ups.)

"Can I remain here as a PC?"
(I told you already! I'm not gay! I have Janine!)

"No!"
(Pfft, please. Like I believe a speck of that relationship, Nicki Angel.)

"Do I have any choice in this?"
(Don't you dare ever mention that! I was undercover!)

"Nuuuu!"
(I'll mention whatever I want. Hah.)

"Sergeant. I kinda like it here."
(If there's anyone that should be transferred, it should be you! This is ridiculous!)

"Well, you've always said you wanted to transfer out to the country."
(I already had to give up patrolling on account of my injuries and all the mental damage you caused me, so I think it's about time I do the same to you.)

"In twenty years or so, well then, yes...!"
(Just because you were foolish during that stakeout doesn't mean shit! It's not my fault you chose to be bothered with professing your love to ME. That was complete RUBBISH.)

"Well then, do."
(I used to love you, anyway. Before you crushed my heart into little tiny pieces.)

"Hang on. I don't remember telling you that."
(... Did you spy on me, too?)

"Yes. You did. You said... *mutter* I'd like to settle down in the country some time, Janine."
(What? No. Uhhh. I just... happened to be there during the conversation, is all.)

"... I'd like to talk to the Inspector."
(YOU WANKER.)

"You can talk to the Inspector, but I promise you he'll tell you the same exact thing that I have."
(Having power is corrupting like that, I'm afraid.)


This Angel/Deskjob Post of Amazing was brought to you by The Angel/Deskjob Coalition of Cute. BECAUSE YOU CAN NOT DENY THE CUTE.

 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
sammiface!: hot fuzz | cheeky monkey.chibijelly on May 14th, 2007 02:37 am (UTC)
'Fraid so.
Nitesh: it be zombie killing teim nao?nitesh_update on May 14th, 2007 02:43 am (UTC)
Win! :D :D :D
Loz: John Simmlozenger8 on May 14th, 2007 02:52 am (UTC)
Hahaha. Oh, boys.
Hippie Geek Girl: HF - marqueegypsyjr on May 14th, 2007 03:00 am (UTC)
"... I'd like to talk to the Inspector."
(YOU WANKER.)


... Dammit, you made me spit water on the keyboard AGAIN. :>
sammiface!: hot fuzz | DO NOT DENY.chibijelly on May 14th, 2007 03:32 am (UTC)
Yessss.
Proud Misha Minionmckay_ocd on May 14th, 2007 04:57 am (UTC)
Hahahha! Im glad I wasn't the only one!
Proud Misha Minionmckay_ocd on May 14th, 2007 04:56 am (UTC)
"... I'd like to talk to the Inspector."
(YOU WANKER.)


*snorfle!* Hahahahhahaha!!!
Damn it! There should be a liquid warning on this thing!
Tea + Keyboard = Not good companions.
Lady Rogue: Nick Angel by clairebandaidsladyrogue79 on May 14th, 2007 01:57 pm (UTC)
FTW! And yes, I cannot deny the cute. Simon Pegg/Martin Freeman is love.
difficult difficult lemon difficult: hot fuzz // swanstrangeumbrella on May 14th, 2007 03:07 pm (UTC)
This is... beyond amazing. (I am currently berating myself for this pairing not even occuring to me before.)
skypipe on May 14th, 2007 07:18 pm (UTC)
That was just made of awesome. Loved it. I shall not deny the cute. EVER.
Synecdochesynekdokee on September 1st, 2007 02:02 am (UTC)
Nahahaha :D


By the by, was there ever any slash written of these two? They'd just make such a pretty couple :>