?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
08 November 2007 @ 09:32 am
A Righteous Bastard (Part Two - End!)  
Title: A Righteous Bastard, Part Two of Two
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: NA/AW, NA/AC (implied), NA/DB
Word Count: 5,700 (in two parts; part two, 2,800)
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Is Andrew a bastard? Of course he is. And do Nicholas and Danny belong together? Of course they do. And does this have a SURPRISE ENDING? Well gosh I hope it does.

Background:
(Latest chapter in the Ring Cycle)
Part One


A Righteous Bastard, Part Two

The days passed slowly and eventually everyone calmed down about the scene at the pub. Danny was in the locker room fetching his wallet, which he invariably forgot whenever he changed clothes, when he felt rather than heard Andrew in the room with him.

“Fuck off, Andrew.” Danny said it without turning around.

“Shut it, bender.” Andrew stood in the doorway, blocking Danny’s only exit. Danny stood with his hands on his hips, trying not to reply in kind.

“What you want now?”

“Saw you at the pub.”

“Saw you.”

Andrew shrugged, squinting his face. “Angel made a scene.”

“You pushed him. Anyone could see he was mad already. I saw you do it.” Danny glowered back at him, still scared to a certain degree but getting angry.

“You saw everythin’, didn’t ya? You spy on us every time we’re there.” Andrew stepped out of the door and stalked into the room. His anger radiated off him and Danny tried not to step backwards in fear. “You watch ‘im here, at the pub…any other place you watchin’, Danny?”

“No…no! I ain’t spying on you guys. Whatever you do…that’s your business.” Danny tried to sound like he meant it.

“That’s rrrright, sergeant.” By this time Andrew was nearly next to him, towering over him, and looking vicious. “My business. So you keep your fat little fingers out of my business.”

“…don’ know what you mean, Andrew.”

“I think you do. I think you know exactly what I mean. But if you want to play stupid, then we can do that too.” Andrew stepped up until they were almost touching and looked straight down into Danny’s eyes. He knew he look scared, and he knew that made him weak in the situation, but by now he was really, genuinely terrified of Andrew standing next to him. “Stay. Away. Don’t fuckin’ look at ‘im, don’t talk to ‘im outside work, and don’t go fuckin’ into our business. You think you can handle that?”

When it registered what Andrew was saying, Danny was furious. He shoved Andrew back. “You can’t tell me that! He doesn’t belong to you! He’s still my friend and you can’t tell me that!”

Andrew barked in laughter. “He belongs to me. His ass belongs to me, which is more than you ever got, yeah?”

Danny seethed. “Fuck off, Andrew! Don’t talk to me about Nicholas when everyone here knows you got it bad for Andy!”

Andrew stepped forward and slammed Danny into the lockers. “Leave Andy out of it.”

“You leave Nicholas out of it!” Danny slapped his hands away.

Andrew stepped back, unhappy, but controlling his temper. “What’s mine is mine.”

Danny pointed straight at his face. “You don’t got Nicholas and you never will.” He grabbed his coat and walked out.

-------

Andy saw his back, which was still black and blue over five days later, and knew what it meant. He traced the bruises with his long fingers while Nicholas was falling asleep. Andrew was in the shower.

“Don’t mean the same to you.”

Nicholas barely heard it and wrestled his brain up from dozing, but did not move, enjoying the sharp feeling of Andy’s touch over his battered skin. “What you do mean?”

“Just don’t.”

“Like your scars?”

“Not that. Not talking about…that. I mean the feelin’ of it. When you want it.”

“How so?” Nicholas rested his chin on his hands.

“You’re usin’ it to punish yourself.”

“I suppose I am, in one way. But…” Nicholas stopped, genuinely lost for words.

“Lettin’ go.”

“Yes. Release. That more than anything. But what is it for you, then?” Nicholas was genuinely curious.

“Yeah, that too. But…it’s like bein’ in the eye of a storm. Everything is whippin’ around you…like the storm would fall apart without you.” Andy’s voice was always soft, but it took on a fragility that was almost worrying.

“I know Andrew would fall apart without you.”

Andy rested his head on his arm, still petting Nicholas’ bruises. “He got on you hard.”

“I think it was as much a release for him as for me, to be honest.”

Andy nodded. “And then he made love to you.”

Nicholas’ lost his breath.

“I know. He made love to me once.” Andy whispered, then rolled over onto his belly and feigned sleep as Andrew walked through the door.

-------

The rest of the week went by quickly, as least for Danny. He made a point of checking on Nicholas in his office regularly, especially when Andrew was around, and Nicholas looked both relieved and alarmed at the sudden attention from Danny. It was never more than ‘how are you’ and ‘doing fine, Danny’ but it was enough. Andrew glared at him and Danny thought that by the weekend, when the drinking really began, he was going to get the crap beat out of him by Andrew. It would be worth it, though.

That night there were general plans for everyone to go to the pub. People trickled out of the office slowly, one by one. Nicholas was staying late, of course, and Andrew was as well, clearly not very keen on leaving Danny alone near Nicholas. Finally Danny went to the locker room and changed out. As he left the building, he realized he forgot his wallet. Again. Cursing himself, he turned around and nearly ran Andrew down.

“Watch it, wanker.” Andrew pushed him off.

“Fuck off, Andrew.” Danny threw back as he walked into the building. He thought he saw Andrew turning to follow, but he did not hear the door open behind him, so he forgot about it.

-----

“Nicholas!”

He turned around to see Danny’s shocked expression, and quickly threw on his over shirt.

Danny just stared, the look of confusion and worry on his face growing deeper as he considered what he had seen. Nicholas turned back around to face his locker and stopped. There was nothing he could say, or explain, or make sense of in any of this, least of all in a way that Danny would understand. He did not want Danny to understand, anyway.

“Who did that?”

Nicholas kept his back to Danny and shook his head.

“Nick…wot the ‘ell is going on with you?” Danny walked up behind him and Nicholas felt himself start to crack. He grabbed hold of the open locker door for support.

“Danny, just go away.”

“You’re back is covered. I know what I saw.”

“Please. Go. Away.”

Danny was behind him, back about a foot or two, and did not move. “Nick…talk to me. Ain’t we partners?”

Nicholas knees buckled and Danny caught him, but he pushed him off. “Don’t touch me, Danny!” He stood up and put his back to the lockers, holding one arm out to keep Danny back. “Just don’t. Please.” He stepped to the side and sat down on one of the benches, still holding the arm up, warding off Danny’s concern and worry. Danny sat down on the other end of the bench.

“Nicholas, someone beat you up! Why can’t you tell me who?”

“’Cause it was me, you stupid wanker.” Andrew walked in. Nicholas did not look up or at him. “He likes it. He takes it. Never took it from you, did he?” Andrew sauntered over, not proud and not really bragging, just taunting Danny lightly, amused by what he stumbled into. He was on a power trip; Nicholas recognized the symptoms. “Guess not. Maybe if you slapped him around a bit he might not ‘ave wandered off, eh?” Andrew laughed and rubbed Nicholas’ head patronizingly. “Our boy likes to be the boss but he’ll take wot I give him every time.”

“Shut it, Andrew!” Nicholas stood up, brushing off Andrew’s touch. “That’s none of Danny’s concern; this is inappropriate and it is ending now.”

“Is it? Way I hear, you like a bit of locker room action, Nicky.” Andrew took of his jacket, slowly, seductively, looking Nicholas in the eye and telegraphing his next move as he unbuckled his belt. “Let’s say you blow me. Think that’ll work for your wittle Danny Boy? Do it.”

Nicholas nearly shook with anger and humiliation. “No, Andrew. Stop. We’re leaving. Whatever you want, I’ll do it, but back at the flat, okay? Let’s just go.”

“You do that? To HIM?” Danny marched forward, angry and betrayed.

“Oh christ, Danny!” Nicholas yelled in frustration and suddenly fell down as Andrew backhanded him into the lockers.

Nicholas tried to get his bearings and saw Danny standing over him, facing off with Andrew. He wanted to get up but he was dizzy and it was slow going.

“You touch ‘im again, Andrew, and I’ll hurt you.”

“Oh! Little Danny Batterbomb getting’ off on playing daddy?” Andrew sneered and picked up his jacket. “I ain’t looking for a fight. G’night, Nick. I’ll be waiting for you back at the flat. We can pick this up there.” He leered outrageously at Nicholas and walked out, and Nicholas let himself slide back down to the floor. He refused to look up.

Danny crouched down on one knee. “Christ, Nick, what you got into?”

-----

Danny took the dazed and closed-up Nicholas back to his place and made him sit on the couch. He got them both beers but did not put a movie in, and they sat drinking in silence.

“I never wanted you to know about any of this, Danny.”

“That you’re doing Andrew and lettin’ him beat the crap out of you? Would’ve been happy not to know it.”

Nicholas laughed at the honesty.

“Why, Nicholas? This ain’t you.”

Nicholas sighed and looked up at the familiar ceiling and almost felt like he was home, finally home, after being away at sea for years.

“Is it? I don’t know, Danny…”

“Are you happy?” Danny asked, worried, but honest.

“No. No, of course not.”

“Then why you doin’ all this? Andy and Andrew and the beating…”

“I feel overwhelmed, Danny, like everything is out of control. I can’t fix anything, with you or Liz, and so I just keep riding the waves hoping to get somewhere.” Nicholas finally said what he had been thinking for months now, but had no one to tell those words too. They were words for Danny, and only Danny, and he bent over and bowed his head as he said them. “When you told me it was over, I just…had nothing left.”

“I never said that, Nicholas.”

Nicholas looked up and saw that Danny was confused. “What? You did…at the hospital, after you saw…Andrew and me…”

“No, I didn’! I never said that!” Danny leaned forward, in shock. “I’d never say that to you. I’d never…let you go.”

“But…”

“I just told you that you couldn’t go on chasin’ everything that looks good to you, yeah? I meant it! But I never…I would never…and I just waited…I kept waiting…” Danny looked forlorn and devastated and lowered his head into his hands.

“Oh god…Danny…but at the farm, when you said we were partners, but…I thought…” Nicholas stumbled for words.

“Oh Nick, you were just looking for a reason, weren’t you? I never said that. I just said if we don’t got trust, we don’t have anything. I just meant that we had to, I dunno, start over.” Danny rubbed his eyes, finally and at long last utterly defeated by Nicholas’ mistakes.

Nicholas felt physically ill, remembering those words, and realizing that what Danny said was true. Danny never called them off, he only called Nicholas out, and his reaction to that was to walk away from the one person he truly loved most in the world. Nicholas felt himself crack, his entire perception of everything he had been through over the last two years and the last few months just slide out of his grasp, and he cried out in physical pain, his stomach cramping. Doubled over, holding himself, his eyes closed and trying not to hyperventilate, he felt Danny next to him. When Danny’s arms wrapped around him he gasped as if he never really breathed before and wrapped his arms around Danny’s closest leg, hanging on for the sake of his very life. Danny stroked his back and his head and leaned into him.

“You just think too much, yeah?”

-------

They were laying back on the couch, Danny turned towards Nicholas, one arm wrapped over him protectively. Nicholas felt empty and would have done god only knows what if Danny was not there to hold him back. They were talking again, about things, now that Nicholas was not in total meltdown anymore. Nicholas sat with his eyes shut tight, unable to look at Danny at all.

“I really thought you knew, back then. When my feet were cut up. I thought you knew.”

“I didn’.”

“Yes, I figured that out.”

“One’s never enough for ya, is it?”

“No. I don’t think so.” Nicholas could not help but smile sadly at the question, his answer, and himself. He finally opened his eyes and looked at Danny, who leaned in further and kissed him. It was a soft kiss and Nicholas only reached one hand up to caress Danny’s cheek, and he never wanted it to end but he could not bring himself to ask for anything more than what Danny offered. Danny pulled back and they rubbed noses.

“That was for bein’ honest.” Danny smiled and sank back into the couch again. “But…what about your back, then? You let Andrew do that?”

Nicholas ground his teeth before he answered, quietly, just at a whisper, refusing to lie or pretend or hide anything from Danny ever again. “I begged him to.”

“Korrrr…” Danny gasped in surprise. “Like what we did to Andy, in the locker room?”

Nicholas raised his eyebrows, surprised that he did not correlate that sooner himself. “Well, yes. Just like that.”

“And you liked it?”

“Erm, I would not say that. Exactly.”

“You got off on it.”

“Yes. Exactly.”

“I thought Andrew was just bullyin’ you around. That’s why I got mad. If I knew…”

“Then I would not be here now.” Nicholas closed his eyes and pushed his body into Danny’s.

Danny was quiet at that for a few moment. “This where you want to be, Nicholas?”

“God, yes, Danny. It’s all I ever think about.” Nicholas rubbed his eyes and tried to keep breathing evenly.

“An’ Andy?”

Nicholas thought carefully before he answered. “I care about him. I care about Andrew, hard as it is for even me to believe. I can’t lie to you about that. They are important to me, Danny, but…I don’t love them. I love you. I always have…I just…screwed it up.”

“Yeah, Nicholas, you did.”

Nicholas forced himself to lean forward. “I can’t fix it, Danny. I can’t change what I did, or how I’ve lived this past year. I not sure I can give up Andy or Andrew. And I don’t think…I don’t think I can ever make any of this up to you. I’m sorry, Danny; I failed. I just…failed.” Nicholas stood up, shoving his shaking hands into his pockets.

“Nicholas?”

He turned to face Danny, who had a surprisingly calm and collected expression on his face. He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling as if he were thinking very hard about something.

“What if…what if I told you toooo…go into the bedroom?”

Nicholas heart stopped and he very nearly did not answer. When he did, he barely heard himself. “I would.”

“And if I told you, emmm…say, you know, get undressed?” Danny was still fluttering his eyes at the ceiling.

Nicholas nodded, unable to speak.

“I mean, all the way. Clothes off.” He finally looked at Nicholas and wagged his finger in a circle so that it was…almost…an order.

Nicholas nodded again.

“And then what if I told you to get into bed and turn the lights off and…emmm, well, just wait for me? Would you wait?”

Nicholas thought his legs would never move again, that he stopped breathing for life, but he finally said the only answer he could give. “Forever, Danny.”

Danny nodded and leaned back on the couch. “Good. I like that. Go on, then.” Danny waved his beer at him in dismissal, smiling as he picked up the remote. Nicholas turned wordlessly and walked into the bedroom to wait for Danny.

------

Andrew took the long way home, smoking and enjoying the cool night air. He acted like a prick and he knew it, but he figured out a long time ago that riling up Danny’s jealousy was the only way that boy was ever going to take Nick back. He only waited until he knew that Nick was ready, and then put everything into motion. All of his planning worked, every chance encounter played out exactly as he intended and every confrontation led directly to the outcome he designed. When he got home, he told Andy that Nick might not be visiting them for a long time. Then, privately and secretly grief stricken over his own loss, he made love to Andy until dawn with all the dark, fierce passion he held inside for the men he truly loved.

Yes, Andrew Wainwright was a good man – righteous, honest, compassionate, and loving – but not a goddamn soul needed to know that, other than Andy.

####
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
 
 
 
zombie survivalistbeccavox on November 9th, 2007 02:29 am (UTC)
"You don't got Nicholas and you never will" just broke my heart. And "You just think too much, yeah?" did, too.

I did yell at the computer screen a few times...at Nicholas for being such a...eeeeerrrraaaahhhhhh...twat. And at Andrew. Until I read the end...then I saw what neither Danny nor Nicholas saw, either.

These stories just rip up my heart, spit on it, stomp on it, and leave it for dead. But I'm feeling better now.
lacking in glitter: subtexttawg on November 9th, 2007 10:47 pm (UTC)
Oh wow. I kind of got what Andrew was doing, but in the back of my mind I was always second guessing it. Like, 'what if he's just really a prick, and this goes to yet another delightfully bad place?'. But you got Nick and Danny back together, and it made sense! I honestly didn't think, after all you put them through, that you could patch them up and have it make sense in any kind of way. I should know better than to doubt you by now.