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07 November 2007 @ 12:07 pm
A Righteous Bastard (Part One)  
Title: A Righteous Bastard, Part One of Two
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: NA/AW, NA/AC (implied), NA/DB
Word Count: 5,700 (in two parts; part one, 2,600)
Rating: NC-17 + BDSM
Summary: Is Andrew a bastard? Of course he is. And do Nicholas and Danny belong together? Of course they do. And does this have a SURPRISE ENDING? Well gosh I hope it does.

NOTE: This is ALL about the Nicholas/Danny soap opera! And while technically it is a direct sequel to Mountain Climbing and In the Heart of the Mountains (and the most recent entry in the Ring Cycle, which christalmightydamnmenow I don’t think will ever end…), this is not about the Andes, particularly.
READ THIS STORY even if you are not an Andes fan, and even though there isn’t a lot of dripping hot sex in it. Trust me. Don’t you
trust me?....

(Latest chapter in the Ring Cycle)

A Righteous Bastard, Part One

Earlier that year Danny walked out of Nicholas’ office, calling him an unimaginably horrible name. Even including the time before Liz when Nicholas was stupid enough to try and break up with him, Danny never felt worse than he did then, and since. He beat himself up for being stupid, for not seeing what was going on in front of his eyes, and for not understanding the people around him at all. Nicholas was obviously not in love with Andy and that knowledge blinded Danny to the fact that for Nicholas, it was not about love. Even after everything Nicholas had done, Danny waited for him to come home, so they could mend fences again and eventually figure out how to get Liz back; but Nicholas walked away into some bizarre world that Danny did not think he understood.

Danny understood sex, of course. He was part of the team that pulled down Andy and fucked him in the locker room so long ago. That was him and Nicholas and they both enjoyed it…too much. Lying to Liz about it was only marginally worse than cheating on her in the first place. He only really got that, though, when he was in the same situation as her, with Nicholas running off to play with Andy without telling him.

No, he understood the sex. What he did not understand right now was Nicholas Angel. One of the greatest turn-ons for Danny was Nicholas’ ability to handle things, keep everything and everyone in order, and stay in control no matter what happened. None of that was happening now because Nicholas was not in control and as Danny thought about it, really thought about it, he began to realize that maybe the only thing Nicholas ever had a firm grasp on was his job. Their relationship was Danny’s doing, in a lot of ways, because Nicholas never felt attracted to a man before and fought himself all the way down to their first kiss. Their relationship with Liz was Danny’s doing as well, and in fact he put that together after Nicholas nearly wrecked everything with her by going too fast. Danny chose the movies they watched and decided whether they were going to the pub or staying in and for all the bossing around in the garden that Nicholas liked to do, he always dropped everything when Danny told him it was time for other distractions.

To a certain degree, this new insight made sense of everything. Nicholas was not used to dealing with his passions and he did not know how to do anything other than repress them. Perhaps this whole mess started the day Danny first made a move on Nicholas: he opened the Pandora’s Box that was Nicholas’ soul and let the monster out. Now Nicholas was being driven by emotions and reactions he had not experienced since grade school, and it worked well enough when Danny was there to keep everything in balance, but now Nicholas was alone and, Danny figured, completely mental.

Danny knew enough to understand that there was no way to put the monster back in the box, and he knew that to kill it – which translated, for Danny, into destroying everything including their love – was to dismantle Nicholas in a terrible, primal way. There was no going back, but for the life of him, Danny did not know how to move forward.

Because to Danny, no matter how hurt he was or how angry he felt, there was never a question of whether Nicholas belonged to him or not; it was just a matter of figuring out how to get him home again in one piece.


“Lookit here, Butterbomb, I’m not asking you to blow me.”

“Oh fuck off, Andrew!” Danny pulled out of Andrew’s grasp and marched down the hall, annoyed at himself for losing his temper so easily.

“I just need your help a bit, some paperwork – you type faster than I do…” Andrew sauntered after him.

“I ain’t your friend and I ain’t ‘elpin’ you!” Danny stopped and pointed at Andrew.

“We always been friends, Danny. Friends help each other out, right? What about that noodle incident…”

“I was five years old, Andrew! It doesn’t count anymore!” Danny threw his hands up in the air.

Andrew stepped up menacingly. “I think it does; I think it will always count, sergeant. So you better help me or…”

“Or what? You’ll go to Nicholas and tell him I won’t be your errand boy? Isn’t that your job?” Danny prattered on until he realized what he just said, and slapped a hand over his mouth. Andrew always lost his cool when accused of being a bender, and although Danny knew full well that Andrew and Andy were ‘on’ it was not something he was supposed to know and was sure that Andrew would not be happy about his knowing. Danny was, in fact, a little frightened of the older man.

Andrew stepped up and hooked a finger under Danny’s tie, his face centimeters from Danny’s, and stared him down. “I don’t think your pretty Angel been telling you that, Danny. In fact I know he ain’t, because if he did, he’d tell you how often I fuck him up the ass.” He pushed Danny into the wall and walked off.


Danny sat at his desk, stunned. He could have taken it for a joke, but it was not a joke; he saw that in Andrew’s eyes. Danny stewed on the idea that Nicholas was not spending his nights with Andy, he was spending them with Andrew. Or…both?

The thought flung him backwards in his chair and Tony looked at him, annoyed. That Nicholas would do two…well, Danny knew he did. Nicholas was once part of him and Liz, and they were as much a ‘couple’ as three people could be. And he remembered that Nicholas’ deft handling of the situation with him and Andy was so competent and energetic that it was downright pornographic. That part Danny liked. He also accepted a while ago that Nicholas and Andrew were somehow ‘sharing’ Andy. But…the Andes? Sharing Nicholas? Danny grimaced as the image of Andrew on top of Nicholas flooded his mind, and he nearly shook with jealousy thinking about Nicholas letting Andrew – Andrew! – do to him what Danny was never allowed to do.

Danny stood up too fast and knocked his chair over. Tony frowned at him and Doris looked confused but Danny just glared at the chair, kicked it so hard it sailed right across the office (narrowly missing Saxon), then left.


Two weeks earlier, Nicholas called out Danny’s name when he came. Repeatedly. While he cried. He learned there was no worse feeling in the world than for the person who is fucking you to stop dead, pull out, turn you over and start treating you like an baby. Objectively, Nicholas knew that his emotions snapped like over-tensioned cords, and that Andrew did the right thing, and that he would have done exactly the same thing in Andrew’s place. Emotionally, though, Nicholas was humiliated and embarrassed and angry.

He called it off after that, at least as far as allowing Andrew to fuck him. Everything else was fair game, and it was almost as if they were back to the time before Andrew and Nicholas became active lovers; it was a safe zone, and comfortable, and the Andes did not pester him about it.

For two weeks.

“You talked to Butterman?” Andrew leaned against the fridge that evening as Andy dutifully cleared away the dinner dishes. Nicholas was sitting at the table, essentially waiting for a blow job, but trying to act casual. He glared at Andrew.


“You should.”

“Are you branching out into marriage counseling?” Nicholas asked, and Andy sniggered. Andrew swatted him as he walked by.

“He knows.”

Nicholas froze. “What do you mean?”

“He thought it was just you and Andy. I had to set ‘im right today.”

Nicholas rose up out of the chair and Andy backed himself against the sink.

“What the hell did you do, Andrew?”

Andrew grinned cruelly. “I’ll tell you if you bend over.”

Nicholas tried to control his breathing. “Interesting request from the straight man.”

Andrew glared at him for just a second, then smiled again. “Just remember who started things between us, Angel. So who’s the bender there?”

Nicholas saw red but kept focusing on his breathing.

Andrew bucked his hips a bit, as if getting comfortable, and rolled his eyes over to a very nervous Andy. “Go to your room.”

Andy flew out of the kitchen and disappeared.

Andrew raised his hand and gave Angel a small ‘come here’ motion with his fingers. Nicholas did not move. Andrew shrugged, stood up, and walked over to Nicholas. He stopped when they were pressed together, and he slouched a bit so they were face to face, chins nearly touching and most of their bodies flush. Nicholas just tried to keep breathing in a steady, controlled manner.

“I don’t care what you do, Nick. Who you fuck. But make up your mind. Stay here tonight and I’m taking a piece of your ass.” Andrew tilted his head, placed one of his gentle, warm kisses on Nicholas jaw and then left to join Andy in the bedroom.

Nicholas waited until the count of ten, then sank to his knees, cradling his head. It was not much of choice and there was no way that bastard did not know it. Danny would not take him back if offered all the money of the Queen, and the only place Nicholas could go was his own cottage, alone. He did that enough as it was and it was not a place he wanted to be by himself, without Danny, when he could just stay here.

An hour later Nicholas peeled himself off the floor, got undressed, and went to the Andes.


The department was split down the middle whenever they went to the pub. At one table was Nicholas, the Andes, and the Turners. At a table far enough away not to hear much of them was Danny, Doris, Tony and Walker. Danny always positioned himself to watch Nicholas, although he tried to do so unobtrusively but he knew that Andy, at least, knew.

Tonight Nicholas was in a bad, very bad mood. Danny could see it, and he was surprised that the Andes did not. Then he realized that Andy knew it too; his mannerism and body language did not match the smirks that crossed his face or his laughter. In between, when he drank his lager, Andy’s eyes darted back and forth between Andrew and Nicholas, worried.

Something was going on. Or, knowing Nicholas, going wrong. Danny kept watching, even when Doris poked him in the ribs when he did not laugh at her ribald jokes. Finally Danny saw what he knew was coming. Nicholas leaned back angrily in his chair and crossed his arms, and the Turners both raised their hands in disassociation as they got up and left. Now Danny was staring, and he knew it, but he could not take his eyes off of that table.

Andrew smirked, looking at Nicholas, as Andy pushed back a little from the table, trying not to look conspicuous. Andrew leaned over to whisper something to Nicholas, then shot a look straight at Danny that was nothing short of vicious glee. Danny blinked, confused at being in the spotlight on this, but everyone was instantly distracted when Nicholas slammed his hands onto the table and stood up, walking straight into Andrew’s chair, pushing it backwards. Off balance for a second, Andrew rallied and jumped up, grabbing Nicholas’ shirt, and they froze, staring each other down furiously.

It was only then that Danny realized that despite size and temperament and backgrounds, the two of them were very evenly matched, and that they both knew it too. Neither moved, clearly not wanting to break the pub apart, and eventually Nicholas shoved himself out of Andrew’s grip and stormed off. Danny turned to watch him – everyone was watching at this point anyway – and in that moment Nicholas cast his eyes at Danny. It was the briefest of looks, but Danny read it instantly: Nicholas was not mad, he was ashamed.

Danny looked back to Andrew, who was smiling at Andy. His expression was mean and self-satisfied and when he swung his head around to return Danny’s gaze, he winked.


“Get over here.”

“So you can break me up in your own place? Fuck off, Nick. I don’t care what ‘appened at the pub, I’m not in the mood to fight. Okayyyy?”

Nicholas stood in his kitchen, aggravated, ashamed, and desperate. On the other end of the phone Andrew sounded bored and annoyed.


“Then get your ass over here, Inspector.”


“Christ, Nick, what do you want?”

Nicholas breathed deeply. “What I want, we can’t do around Andy.”

There was a very long pause before Andrew answered. “I’m goin’ to regret this, am I?”

“Yes, most probably.” Nicholas rested his head against the wall.

“Be right over.”


It was makeshift and it was awkward, but by the time they were done, Nicholas was sunk into a place he dreamed of, an oblivion so deep that coherent thought was impossible, where shame and fear dissipated in the heat of sensation and reaction. He took Andy there once, and in his youth, in college, he had been there before himself. It was not something that a responsible Met police officer was supposed to do, though, and he never thought about it for himself until that night when he walked into his cottage, suffering the memory of Danny’s expression in the pub earlier: shock, anger and worse, disappointment.

Andrew was clearly not used to it. He tied Nicholas to the foot board of the bed efficiently enough – farmer’s boys and their knots – but he stalled on ideas until Nicholas pointed out his belt hanging off a chair. He knew Safi used a belt on Andy and he was unsure if Andrew would do it, and he did pause for a while with it in his hands before folding it over and starting. Nicholas gave him a run down beforehand, before his clothes came off or the ties were used on his hands, on the general process. Start slow, and soft, on the insulated body parts. Beware the kidneys. Work up, work harder, until someone got turned on. Stop at the safe word but not before. Then do whatever the hell he wanted.

Andrew was strong and as he got further into it and realized just how much Nicholas could take, went off. Nicholas never safe-worded and he nearly blacked out and he got the impression, when he could bring thoughts up in his mind, that Andrew was using this as his own release as much as Nicholas was.

As Nicholas floated in a realm of endorphin-fueled dreams, he felt Andrew inside him, pushing into him, and he felt the charge of sex running up his spine. He thought he whined and cried out and cried; Andrew fucked him longer than ever before, slowly, endlessly, pulling him hard against the restraints and pressing his face onto the heated skin of Nicholas back. Nicholas felt himself held up as Andrew finally worked into his climax, not fast and hard as he usually went into it but slow and deep, gasping, wordless, and for all the times they had been in this position before, he realized in a distant and emotional way that this was the first time Andrew ever really made love to him.

Current Mood: working
zombie survivalist: toothpick fuzzbeccavox on November 7th, 2007 09:28 pm (UTC)
I did not see it going THERE. Damn. You do bust 'em up before you put 'em back together. And that's not a complaint.

This soap opera is good. I hope you're not striking with the Hollywood writers right now. I need me some Part 2.

mikes_grrl on November 7th, 2007 10:01 pm (UTC)
No strike in effect! Part two tomorrow morning.

Actually I never post a story until it is done, so fear not! I just edit verrrrryyyyyy slowly and it works out to posting once a day and that keeps the momentum going for me.

Wait 'til you see how I totally break Nicholas! If I did it right, you will be going "mutha fuhka, no WAY!!!" Wheeeee!!!!

Glad you are enjoying.
zombie survivalistbeccavox on November 7th, 2007 10:05 pm (UTC)
well, then, I'd best not read it at work.
mikes_grrl on November 7th, 2007 11:27 pm (UTC)
Actually, you can. It's a mind fuck, not a body one.

zombie survivalist: diana's really wonder womanbeccavox on November 7th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
Oh, I don't care to read porn at work. It's me screaming "NO MUTHER FUCKIN' WAY" while I'm reading that worries me. Not, actually, that it would surprise my co-workers. Or shock them.
(Deleted comment)
mikes_grrl on November 8th, 2007 01:56 am (UTC)
Can it be raep!time with Andrew now?

You are so damn psychic.