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20 October 2007 @ 01:25 pm
Dilemma, Part II  
Title: Dilemma
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: NA/DB
Word Count: 11,000 (in two parts)
Rating: NC-17+ (explicit, really, I mean it)
Summary: Nicholas, in love; Danny, confused; and everyone in the village thinks they're shagging anyway.

NOTES for Part II: This is not very angsty but overall it was a tough series to write. I think the premise I was working off of is that Nicholas is so busy trying to control what is going on that he does not see the sexual awakening that is happening to Danny. Nicholas? Oblivious? Nahhhhhh....Well, that was the idea! Still and all, it does get rather sexy. Enjoy!


DIlemma: Part II


The next morning he was filling out a transfer request. He met his limitations and he failed, and he needed to get out of Sandford before he did any more damage to them than he already had. He looked up to see Danny in the door frame of his office. He put down his pen and motioned Danny in. Danny closed the door behind him.

He did not say anything, just held up the paperwork so Danny could see it. Danny looked, then looked away.

“Don’t do it, Nicholas.”

“It’s clear that I cannot reasonably stay here…near you. I think that my behavior, my outrageous and out of control actions, prove that. Conclusively. It’s not that I don’t care about you, Danny, but I…can’t… damn.” He finished, saying nothing, looking at his desk.

“Maybe I just wasn’t ready.” Danny looked at him, serious. Nicholas laughed.

“Danny. That isn’t something you ‘get ready’ for…look, I’ve always been this way. Men, women…I don’t care. You usually get to the same place regardless of the equipment used, in my opinion. But if you don’t know that about yourself already, then you never will, because it is not there. I’m…I’m glad you stopped us. Not because I don’t want…that…with you. But because you don’t with me. That’s important, Danny.” Nicholas leaned over, trying to be wise and serious and honest. Then he lowered his head into his arms.

“Nick…”

Nicholas looked up into Danny’s worried face, and propped himself up on his elbows. “I’ve never been good at this. I’ve never felt about someone quite the way I do about you. And I want to hold on to that, desperately, to the point of not caring about what you want. I’m being greedy and selfish because I see something I’ve always known existed and never really caught. That’s why I have to go. I’ll hurt you otherwise.” He bowed his head, defeated by Danny, again.

Danny frowned, then sat back in the chair. “But I love you, Nicholas. You have to stay.”

Nicholas blinked. “I don’t think you mean it quite…”

“I do. Stop treating me like a baby! I know what happened last night. I know how you feel, I can see it. I’m not a virgin, Nick, despite what the Andes say. I know what sex is. It is what we were doing last night.”

Nicholas pursed his lips, admitting that Danny was sounding more like a man than a younger brother right then.

“I also know what your mum meant, and it isn’t as if half the village doesn’t think we’re shagging each other already. So I think what I feel about it should count for something: I love you. You’re staying.”

“Danny, I cannot, absolutely cannot, stay here, and be near you, without something like that happening again.”

“Fine, then.”

“No, Danny, I don’t think…”

“I mean it. Fine.”

Nicholas laughed despite himself. “Danny, it isn’t just something you just wake up and decide: ‘Today I’m gay.’ Doesn’t work that way.”

Danny rolled his eyes, impatient. “Maybe I was gay all along and just didn’t know it.”

“No. Not buying that, Sergeant Daniel Butterman.” Nicholas sat up straight and folded his hands on his desk and gave Danny his severest ‘Inspector’ look. “Because if that was true, Danny, you would let me fuck you, and you would enjoy it.”

It was a standoff, and Nicholas knew he would win. There was one thing a straight man would never break to, all kissing aside, and that was to be fucked by another man. He knew it, and he knew that was exactly the line they were at, and his faith in human nature was justified when Danny got up and walked out.

------

He sat in his bedroom, in the middle of the bed. Normally at this time he would be with Danny. At the pub, or at Danny’s flat, but with Danny. This was the third night since their showdown in Nicholas’ office and he did not think he ever felt lonelier in his life. As much as he wanted Danny, the real reason he loved him was because he simply liked him. Danny was his friend and his partner and Nicholas missed him. He knew that Danny missed him too, because Danny told him so several times at work, in much the same tone of voice he always said “…it weren’t me.” Danny said it only when no one was around and with no expectation of Nicholas responding. He was just letting Nicholas know.

Nicholas could not be trusted, though. Visiting Danny would lead to something else, unwelcome advances and awkward moments and, eventually, a fight. Or worse. Nicholas genuinely did not trust himself, at all, for the first time that he could remember. Even during his worst fights with Janine he managed to keep more control over himself than his best moments with Danny. So he sat on his bed, trying not to think about anything. The doorbell rang and Nicholas knew who it was, and seriously considered pretending to be dead. Instead, he got up, put a robe on over his bedclothes, and went to let Danny in.

“Doris?”

“’E’s in the car.” She pointed behind her.

“Doris, why did you bring Danny here?” Nicholas looked out, seeing a passed out Danny in the passenger seat.

“Where else you ‘xpect me to take him?” She wrinkled her nose.

“Home?”

“Exactly.”

“Doris, Danny doesn’t live here.”

“He’s pissed and someone need to keep an eye on ‘im. So com’on, gimme a hand.” She turned and walked out to the curb. Nicholas stared for a second, and then followed.

Danny was out of it, but not totally comatose. With coaxing, and Doris’ assurances to Danny that yes, they were getting him another round of drinks, Danny was pulled out of the car and into Nicholas’ house. Doris was set on dragging him all the way to the bedroom but Nicholas put his foot down and they settled Danny onto the front couch.

“Good’un, then. I’m goin’ back to my date. Night, Chief!” Doris patted her hands together, pleased with the conclusion of a successful operation, and promptly left Nicholas completely alone with a drunk, vulnerable, and slightly drooling Danny.

-------

Nicholas was dozing in the chaise lounge when he heard Danny stir. Danny threw up earlier and adequate preparations on Nicholas’ part kept the situation from ruining the carpet, but after that Danny passed out and Nicholas laid down to get some rest himself.

“Nick?”

“Right here, Danny.” Nicholas rolled over and looked at Danny. He left the small reading light on earlier so the room was bathed in a mellow, hazy light and he saw Danny squinting at him.

“Where’s the couch?”

“You’re at my cottage, Danny. You’re on my couch. Your couch is back at your flat.”

“Oh…Nick?”

“Yes?”

“Do you love me?”

Nicholas paused, but reflected on the fact that Danny would certainly not remember any of this the next day, and it was not as if he had not said it before. Once.

“Yes, Danny, I do.”

“Love me?”

“Yes, love you.”

“Kiss me.”

“No.”

Danny whined.

“You threw up, Danny. I would not kiss you right now if you were Penelope Cruz.”

“Oh. Sorry…”

“It’s alright, nothing was ruined.” Nicholas sat up.

“But you’re leaving.”

“Not right now.”

“Later, then.”

Nicholas did not answer that, and was startled when Danny hunched over. He jumped up, thinking he was going to vomit again, but as he got to Danny’s side, he realized the boy was crying. He sat down next to him and rubbed his back. “Danny, come on, Partner. Everything will be alright.”

“Dad…Dad’s in prison, in’it he?”

“Yes, he is.”

“And you’re…you’re leaving too.”

Nicholas had not thought of it that way and felt his gut clinch in guilt. “Danny, no, don’t say that.”

“S’true.”

Nicholas just sat dumbly next to him, because it was true. Danny’s mother was dead, his father was in prison for the rest of his natural life, and now Nicholas was putting in for a transfer to anywhere that did not include Danny. Suddenly he thought that Danny might think he did not give a damn about him at all.

“Come here, Danny.” He wrapped his arms around Danny while he cried. “I’ll cancel the request. I won’t go. I won’t leave you alone. Danny?”

Danny nodded and they stayed wrapped around each other on the couch until morning.

Nicholas made him breakfast, which included making him eat it. He gave him one of his spare toothbrushes and let him use up most of the hot water for his shower. He called out sick for both of them, and Doris was grim on the other end of the line, asking about Danny’s condition. Nicholas told her he was awake and in the shower, which seemed a natural thing to say, and she sighed in relief. The doorbell rang at around lunch time and it was Tony, bearing a fresh change of clothes for Danny, who was cuddled up on the couch in misery. Tony patted him on the head, told Nicholas nothing was going on of any importance in town, accepted a cup of tea, and left. No one seemed at all surprised that Danny was there, or that Nicholas was taking care of him.

“My Boys, The Cottage, Sandford.” Nicholas wondered just how much more oblivious he could be to what everyone else seemed to take for granted. He just wished it was true.

By evening, Danny was almost human again. Nicholas sat behind him on the couch, rubbing his head. He knew he did not have the masterful massage powers that Danny possessed, but even a little bit was better than nothing, and Danny was groaning in genuine pain. Nicholas observed of himself that he was not the least bit aroused by a situation that a day ago would have wracked his body with x-rated fantasies. He just wanted to take care of Danny.

“Did…ow…did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“Last night, what you…owwww…said.”

“You remember last night?”

“Mmm, no. Just a bit. I don’t know how I got here.”

“Doris dumped you off on the front stoop.”

Danny tried laughing but it hurt. “Really?”

“No, but she did drive you here. We managed to walk you to the couch.”

“S’not a bad couch.”

“I like it.”

“Looks like something your mum would buy.”

Nicholas dug his fingers into Danny’s skull until he yelled.

“Lighten up on y’mum, Nicky! Ow! So, did you mean it?”

“Mean what, exactly?”

“That you’re cancelling the transfer. That you’re staying in Sandford.”

Nicholas stopped rubbing and scooted back so that Danny could turn and face him. “Yes, Danny, I meant it.”

“That you love me.”

Nicholas scooted further back and pulled on leg up on the edge of the couch. “Yes, that too.”

“You didn’t think I’d remember that, did you?” Danny smiled mischievously.

Nicholas laughed. “No, honestly, I didn’t.”

Danny pointed to his head. “Mind like a steel trap!” He laughed with Nicholas and then stopped, looking around. “I’m glad your staying, then, Nicholas.”

Nicholas was not quite so glad, practically speaking, but he was relieved that Danny was not upset anymore. Danny scooted closer to him and then laid back, so he was laying across him, his head on Nicholas’ stomach, his arms resting on Nicholas’ legs. Nicholas froze at first, but slowly uncoiled as Danny just laid there, utterly relaxed. Nicholas put a hand on Danny’s arm and used his other hand to prop up his head and neck as he leaned on the armrest.

“Comfortable?”

“Yeah, Nicholas.”

“Good.”

They sat like that for a while until Danny fell asleep. Nicholas’ body was cramping and he decided that it was late enough to call it a very unproductive day and went to his own bed after settling another comforter around Danny.

When he woke up later than night, he was not alone. Danny was creeping into bed with him, no mean feat for a large man who was still slightly hung over.

“DANNY!” Nicholas yelled and Danny nearly fell off the bed.

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“…Going to bed?”

“This is MY bed, Danny. I left you on the couch…”

“Well it’s not that comfortable of a couch.” Danny proceeded to continue climbing into bed, fighting with the sheets.

“No.”

Danny ignored him and Nicholas was left with the option of…nothing. He could not stop Danny, short of dragging him out by his legs. Nicholas suddenly felt the familiar rush that led him down dangerous paths, and he thought he was going to hyperventilate.

“You okay, Nicholas?”

“No.”

“Mmmm. You know what?” Danny rolled onto his side to look at Nicholas, who was at the point of curling himself into a small black hole. “I love you too.”

Nicholas sat up. “Damnit Danny we’ve been over this! Please! Get out of my bed!”

“No.” Danny sat up and crossed his arms and they sat side by side, fuming.

“Danny…think about this. Do you really, honestly want me to rape you?” Nicholas gave him a small, wry, smile, trying to lighten the mood and steer Danny out.

Danny laughed. “No.”

“Then get out of my bed.”

“Nick…you remember when I kissed that guy?”

Nicholas felt like whimpering in certain defeat. “Yes, I do.”

“I was pretending it was you.”

Nicholas stopped breathing.

“The reason I asked that bloke to kiss me is because I knew you wouldn’t if I asked. Even though you’ve tried a lot before.” Danny looked at him slyly.

Nicholas was flummoxed. “Before? I’ve never…”

“When you’re asleep. Plenty of times, on the couch, when you’ve fallen asleep against me. You put your hand on my leg and just…kiss me. On the cheek, mostly, but sometimes when I look over, there you are and…”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Do….not….”

“Yes, Nicholas, you do.”

Nicholas sat there, feeling betrayed by his own sleep cycle.

“And I never stopped you, didn’I? And I was thinkin’, maybe I liked it, and I wanted to see if I would like it more. Why would I do that if I didn’t like it to begin with, Nicholas?” Danny spoke thoughtfully, as if working out a word problem for Nicholas’ edification. “Knowin’ you never would when you were awake, I had to ask someone and it really was a nice kiss, I guess, just not very interesting. But then, when you did kiss me, it was all kinds of interesting. It was great…then I felt you…you know, down there.”

Nicholas thought that his mother’s Moroccan carpet was not the only excellent place to die a gruesome death.

“I didn’t mean to push you off, you know. I just got spooked and I didn’t know what I was doing, ‘least not with a bloke. So I’m sayin’, that maybe, if you kissed me again, I might not panic this time.”

“Danny…what I said…in the office. Did you listen to anything I said?”

“Nicholas, I’ve been with girls. Okay? So have you. Just ‘cause….”

“You’re not answering me.”

“You want me to say it, then?”

And Nicholas realized right then that, yes, it was exactly what he was waiting for, if only because he fully expected never to hear anything close.

“’Cause I said I love you, and I like kissing you, but…I guess I have to say this too.”

“Yes, Danny, you do. You have to say it.”

“Hmmph.”

Nicholas rubbed his hands together, trying to think of a way to pull this out of Danny’s misplaced ideas about kissing. He decided that brutal honesty was always a good wake up call.

“You know what anal sex is like? Ever done it to a girl?”

Danny grinned. “Yeah. Susie Carpen…”

No! I don’t need to know who! You remember…it?”

“It hurt her. A lot. But she said she liked it, and…I did. Like it. Messy, though.”

“Hmm. I guess that about sums it up.” Nicholas drew up his feet so that he could rest his arms on his knees, and his chin on his arms. He glanced over at Danny, who was looking at him.

“An’ you want to do that to me?” Danny laughed again, more self-consciously.

“Yes. You know I do.” They stopped while Danny considered the matter.

“And would you let me do it to you?”

Nicholas just stuttered for a second before composing himself. “I would.”

“Really?” Danny sounded impressed.

“I’ve done it before, Danny, to women and other men, and they’ve done it to me. I’m not one who thinks it should just be one way all the time. I like to think I’m comfortable enough with my sexuality that it is…fluid.”

“Korrrrr…” Danny laughed, but turned thoughtful again. “We could do other things, Nicholas.”

Nicholas finally did whimper in defeat, resting his forehead on his arms. “Danny, I assure you, I would love that. But eventually…eventually we’d just have this same conversation all over again.” He realized that he had absolutely no control over this bizarre conversation. None.

Danny leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees, and looked at the wall for a second before turning to face Nicholas. “That’s it, then?”

Nicholas turned his head to the side so he could look over at Danny. “Yes.” He fully expected Danny to get out of the bed. Nicholas did not purposefully throw this up as a barrier, he did it more to scare Danny off. That plan failed spectacularly, so now he was using the threat of anal sex to make Danny see reason. He just hoped that he would see reason soon and leave, so that Nicholas could massage his raging hard on until he passed out.

“So you gonna, then?”

“What?”

“You know. ‘It’…fuck me?” He whispered that last words and fiddled with his hands, squinting, and looking very much as if he just asked Nicholas out on a first date.

Nicholas’ blood pressure plunged in shock and he was speechless. They sat in silence and then Danny pulled back the sheets.

“S’okay if not, then, Nicholas. I’ll go.”

Nicholas reached out and grabbed Danny’s shirt and pulled him down next to him, forcing them to lay down on the bed on their sides, facing each other. In a heated rush, he felt Danny’s hand resting on his side and his other hand pressed against his chest. He moved his hands to caress Danny’s face.

“Danny, why are you doing this?”

“…Because I want to?”

Nicholas paused. It was not quite the thought out, well reasoned argument he was hoping for but…it was Danny. “Alright then. If…Danny…if you’re sure. Don’t just do this for me.” Nicholas felt his hands shaking.

“I been sure for a while, Nicholas. You’re the one keep shoving me off.”

Danny smiled and Nicholas leaned forward to kiss him. This time it really felt as if Danny was participating, kissing Nicholas back with his tongue and his lips, moving his head to try for a better angle against him. Nicholas pulled back for a second and looked at Danny, who was staring at him with unguarded passion and need and, still, confusion. Nicholas admitted concern; he avoided virgins of any orientation, worried of turning them off to things he liked, or worse, hurting them, but there was nothing for it here. He never really expected this challenge to arrive in his bed, but he had been waiting for it for over a year.

Danny followed his lead as he pushed him onto his back and they took off their shirts. It was a mundane act, to get undressed, but Nicholas reveled in it. He was not much for strutting, but he wanted to see exactly how he might turn Danny on so he rolled up on to his knees next to him and pulled off his tee shirt, holding himself up so that Danny could see all of him. They had seen each other shirtless innumerable times in the locker room, but not like this, and Nicholas watched Danny’s reaction with pleasure as it turned from surprise to desire. It was there, the look in his eyes, and Nicholas sighed in genuine relief. Danny finished taking off his own shirt and Nicholas lay down partially on top of him, lowering himself into a slow, deep kiss. Danny’s hands ripped across his bare back and he felt those strong fingers close around muscle and bone and he yelped.

“Nick?”

“This isn’t a massage, Danny.”

“Oh. Just…”

“Shhh.”

They kissed again and Danny’s hands took to roaming aimlessly across Nicholas’ body. At some point when Danny’s tongue flicked against his in a coy tease, Nicholas groaned in heat and rolled his hips into Danny’s thigh, his erection trapped between them. He felt Danny gasp a little.

“That’s the way it is, Danny. That’s where we’re going.”

Danny nodded.

Nicholas quickly understood that his main problem was himself. He wanted Danny, all of Danny, right now; he wanted to make love to him and fuck him and taste him and watch him come. He wanted to lose himself in Danny, forever if possible, and if he was not careful, he was going to do just that, without paying attention to how Danny was feeling, or reacting, or…

“Nicholas?”

“Yes, Danny?”

“What’r you thinkin’ about?”

“Um.” Nicholas realized he was so lost in thought that he stopped moving.

“You…uh…not…” Danny blushed.

“No! No, Danny, I am! Very, I promise. I just…don’t want to screw this up for you.”

“You don’t have to protect me all of the time.”

“I know…”

“This really isn’t the place to be thinkin’ of me as a younger brother, is it?”

Nicholas laughed so hard, he snorted. “Gahhh…no, I suppose not.”

Danny reached up and pulled his head back down to kiss him, and with Danny truly initiating things for once, Nicholas finally accepted what was happening. He gave up and pushed himself onto Danny, rubbing his hands down his chest and into his pants. He ran his fingers delicately over Danny’s erection – god, it was good to find that – and further down, cupping his ball sack, gently rubbing the soft, sensitive skin. Danny melted into one long moan and arched his back, clasping his hand on Nicholas, and then, surprisingly, pulling down Nicholas’ pants, or trying to. Nicholas moved quickly to strip them both down and they were pressed together naked. Nicholas thought his brain was going to implode. Yes, he decided, there were certainly other things they could do…first.

He kissed Danny while moving his hand softly over his cock, and Danny moaned again. Nicholas propped himself up on his knees and began a slow trail of kisses down Danny’s body, as he slowly increased the friction and pressure on his cock. Danny responded beautifully, groaning and gasping and generally squirming the sheets to knots. Pleased with himself, Nicholas sat next to Danny’s side as he moved his kisses across and down his chest, stopping to tease nipples, flicking a tongue over Danny’s belly-button, and finally moving to the tip of Danny’s penis. He rolled his tongue around the edge of the head as his hand kept stroking, and Danny’s body rose up. Surprised by the force of it, Nicholas threw his own body down so he was lying partially over him, using his shoulders to press down on his lower abdomen and hips, and the view was fantastic. He pulled himself up and wrapped his mouth around the top of Danny’s cock and sucked on it and he felt a wave of pleasure wash over him. He wanted this – in fact he wanted more than this – and it was not about doing it right, it was about doing it at all.

He moved his head down and pulled the length of Danny’s cock into him, filling up with him, holding him down with his own naked body and he was delirious. He slid up the shaft and he heard Danny calling out in continuing surprise, his body nearly convulsing. Nicholas rang his fingers around the base, encircling it, pushing down and squeezing as his mouth moved up and down, his teeth just barely scraping skin, his tongue adding even more pressure. He picked up the pace as Danny’s hips began to react, and soon the tip was bobbing in and out of Nicholas’ mouth as his hand moved quickly, pulling the orgasm out of Danny. Finally he tasted the pre-cum and the felt the swelling of blood-rush and he held his head up as his hand slammed down. Danny called out inarticulately and slapped his hands against Nicholas’ back as he came, his come shooting out of him and onto Nicholas who felt himself humping the bed sheets in automatic, sex-driven response as he watched.

Danny collapsed, his legs sprawled, his breath surprising quiet. Nicholas wiped himself off, leaned forward and rested himself on top of Danny, his head on his chest. Danny was warm and comfortable against him, entirely relaxed and practically purring. “Danny…”

“Mmmm, Nicholas…You really know how to do that…cornettoes!”

Nicholas blinked. “What?”

“I’ll never be able to watch you eat a cornetto again.” Danny shook his head seriously, as if this was in fact a real tragedy. Nicholas just stared at him, his idea of the moment completely wrecked. Danny laughed and clutched him, pressing their bodies together, which brought the moment back to Nicholas in a fury. He pushed off and clambered – no other word for it – between Danny’s legs. While Danny processed this new location in surprise, Nicholas leaned forward and drug open the nightstand drawer, pulling out a bottle of lube. He did use it, sometimes, because it certainly lasted longer than spit.

Danny was watching him, still feeling the pleasure of his own climax but realizing that they were moving into different waters. Nicholas used his elbows to shove Danny’s legs apart, opened the tube of lubricant with his teeth, and smeared a handful over his right hand fingers. Danny’s eyes went wide.

“Nicholas…”

Nick stopped and put the tube down. “Danny.”

Danny did not answer. Finally Nicholas leaned forward and let his own cock rest against Danny’s spent member, and used his un-lubed hand to hold Danny’s face. They stared at each other for a few seconds and Nicholas thought he would break. He wanted this so much, to be inside Danny, and when he imagined it he saw red, tightening his grip on Danny’s jaw.

“You said it. I asked you; you said it.”

“Nicholas…please stop thinking,” Danny asked him quietly, reaching up to pull Nicholas down into a soft, comforting kiss. As Danny breathed into him, he calmed down. He needed to stay present, for Danny…but he truly did not think he would, and it was something he desperately wanted even as he thought it was terrifying to approach.

He sat back and spread Danny’s legs further apart. He bent Danny’s knees, so he would be bracing himself against the bed. He scooted up a bit so his knees were resting under the back of Danny’s thighs, just a little leverage for now.

“Shouldn’t I roll over?” Danny asked, betraying his nerves.

“No.”

“Oh. I thought that’s how it’s done. That’s how…ssssnnnnnffff....” He sucked in air as Nicholas fingers reached under him, slick with lubricant, and pressed against his anus. Nicholas rubbed the area to calm the muscles down. His other hand reached down and gently stroked Danny’s cock, sending shivers through both of them as another, lazy hard-on started. He was not worried for himself, as his hard-on was painfully stiff and unlikely to decompress anytime soon. He wanted to calm Danny down anyway. He knew this was scary; his first time was actually with a girlfriend and her strap on, and even with as little pressure her light frame put on him, it was painful. He felt Danny breathing fast.

“Danny…”

“Yeah…yeah…Nick?” Danny stuttered.

“I mean it. I’m going to do this, and when I get there, I won’t stop for you. Understand?”

Danny just nodded.

“It will hurt, Danny.” As he said it, Nicholas pushed a finger inside of Danny. It was not quite as tight as he feared, but he felt Danny’s muscles rattle around his finger as Danny let out an explosive breath of air, his lungs gasping. Nicholas rubbed his finger against the warm skin and then moved another finger in, and then a third, and he felt Danny’s muscles clinch and Danny bucked. He knew this was going to be messy. The sheets would not survive.

As he moved his fingers in and out of Danny, he crept up on his knees, leveraging Danny’s pelvis higher. Danny was gasping and his hands were moving, trying to find purchase, but his hard-on was strong again as Nicholas tightened his grip on it. Nicholas thought he was going to go blind from holding back on his own passion and he felt his breath ragged and uneven. Finally he pulled his fingers out and wiped them down, hearing Danny breathing deeply in release. He let go of Danny’s cock and used that hand to rub his belly, soothing him down.

“We there yet?” Danny asked, trying to smile, but Nicholas was beyond laughing at small jokes. He was choking, with Danny pooled out in front of him, vulnerable and open to him alone. “Nicholas?...”

Nicholas pushed up on his thighs, forcing Danny’s hips up and back, and managed to grab more lubricant for himself as he moved forward. Distantly he heard Danny’s small noises but he looked down. He hooked his clean hand over Danny’s leg to keep him from backing off – it would be an instinctive reaction and Nicholas wanted to prevent it. His other hand grabbed his own, incredibly warm cock and directed it in between Danny’s ass cheeks, his fingers guiding him. He felt the tip of his penis pressing against the entrance, and he moved forward more, sighing deeply in pleasure, and finally Danny began fighting.

Danny instinctively panicked, shoving back with his legs, but Nicholas brought both arms to bear and held him, and then gently pulled him, as he felt the breach start to happen. He found this the most painfully erotic moment, when passions were in flywheel motion and he was totally and completely entering someone who was giving himself up to him in a profoundly personal way. Usually he dialed that down in order to concentrate on making the experience better – safer, secure – for his partner, but his time, feeling his hands on Danny’s strong thighs and hearing Danny’s deep gasps for air, he did not. It was the irony of the moment that his love for Danny was finally the key he needed to let go and trust that no matter what happened, they would be fine afterwards. He knew it, earlier, and he was honest when he told Danny that once he was there, he would not stop, and now that he was, he didn’t.

He kept dragging Danny down and pushing his hips forward and he felt the tip of his cock slip in and Danny’s muscles contract around him in a deliriously painful way and he cried out, closing his eyes, immersed in sensations. Nicholas pulled himself up even more and sucked air in through his nose as he ground his teeth, and pushed again, and heard Danny crying out in pain, inarticulate and wild, as Nicholas finally sheathed himself completely. He stopped, finally looking up, and realized that they were both slick with sweat. He brought his eyes up to Danny’s face and saw tears.

Nicholas gulped for air. “Did you tell me to stop?” He asked, suddenly worried.

“No.” Danny mouthed the word, speechless.

Nicholas nodded then leaned his head back in small release, feeling his muscles relax as he felt himself deep inside of the man he loved, who wanted him there, and who thank god was Danny.

He felt Danny move, adjust, and twist. There was no such thing as getting comfortable in this position so Nicholas saved him the trouble by quickly pulling out halfway and pushing back in. Danny’s entire abdominal wall clutched and Danny gasped. Nicholas moved forward to better angle himself to stroke Danny in places he might not be aware – in fact surely was not aware – that he had. Nicholas pulled out again and pushed back in even harder, and again a third time, and suddenly he felt Danny’s legs almost give out and Danny moaning in something like pleasure. That was it, the place he wanted Danny to be, and the place Nicholas needed to go. He picked up his pace and leaned forward to the point that he had his hands pushing down on Danny’s shoulders, his hips pounding against Danny’s flesh, and Danny’s hands wrapped around his upper arms in a vice grip.

“Daniel…Danny, I love you…ohDaniel…” He shook his head and gasped the words, and at himself; he never talked when he came, he never felt the need to call out anyone’s name or words of endearment because it was always just sex which never meant love to him, until now. He could just barely speak and he lost track of himself, feeling his cock thrusting deep and warm inside of Danny, but the words kept spilling out with Danny’s name on his lips. He started catching his breath, knowing what was rushing up on him.

“Nicholas!”

He opened his eyes to see Danny arched underneath him, straining with him, his eyes closed but his mouth open and wet and calling out his name, and Nicholas flew outside of himself, grabbing Danny’s thighs and pulling their bodies together as he exploded inside his lover with a massive thrust that shoved him so deeply into Danny that he thought he was forever lost, his control broken, his passion rolling over him in primal waves.

He slowly opened his eyes and saw Danny had his arms over his face and he was shaking. Nicholas felt the utter terror he dreaded: that he had hurt him, that he had gone too far, too hard and broken Danny, somehow. He reached out a hand to Danny’s chest.

“Danny…no…” As he said the words Danny’s arms flew down and both hands gripped his arm and Danny was…laughing.

“Nicholas…” Danny gulped for air and Nicholas was frozen, completely at a loss, assuming the worst and facing the incredible. Danny was laughing. Then Danny smiled, through small hiccups of tears and laughter. “Nicholas…that…was…a-maz-ing.” Danny ran his hands up and down Nicholas’ arms as only a lover would do.

Nicholas bowed his head and laughed, feeling more like crying himself. “Yes, Danny, it was.”

“Nicholas?”

“Yes?”

“I love you too.”
 
 
Current Mood: chipperchipper
 
 
 
stelluci: Ohstelluci on October 20th, 2007 07:01 pm (UTC)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOHMAIGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD

Your words. Are. A-MAZ-ING. The dialog, characterization, ititit's perfect.

It makes sense. I mean, using the format of Nicholas from the film, it literally makes sense. It shows a primal, almost violent side of Nicholas that we know he hides, the emotional part of him that relies on want and anger and ego.

Major points for realistic sex as well!
sexually frightened know-it-all: cootieshawkeyefreak72 on October 20th, 2007 07:24 pm (UTC)
I second that OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHMAIGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD

you're so fantastic gaaaaah so sweet/hot/cute/hot/hot haaaaaaaaaaaaaawt
lacking in glitter: subtexttawg on October 20th, 2007 10:07 pm (UTC)
"You usually get to the same place regardless of the equipment used, in my opinion."
*snort* That is a very Nicholas way of looking at it. His sexuality is geared for maximum precision and efficiency.

Nicholas sat there, feeling betrayed by his own sleep cycle.
Lol. Poor thing.

That plan failed spectacularly, so now he was using the threat of anal sex to make Danny see reason.
Rofl. What an awesome way of phrasing those few exchanges.

Like everyone else said - hot, adorable, in character, funny, sweet, hot, sexy, hot, adorable... Also: yay for Doris!
zombie survivalistbeccavox on October 22nd, 2007 12:54 am (UTC)
*stands and applauds for an hour*

Your Nicholas is so...well...just...right. The fact that he anticipated Danny's vomit. Yep, that's Nicholas. As is the rest.

And Danny is great...a wonderful combination of that boy and man.

And now I'll just add to what everyone else has posted...
OOOOOOOHMAIGAAAAAAAAAAAWD!!!!!!!
verob2002verob2002 on February 17th, 2008 07:20 pm (UTC)
A-ma-zing!!!
fuzzylobsters: Easter Bonnetfuzzylobsters on May 26th, 2008 05:36 am (UTC)
*breathing rather heavily*
That was brilliant.
mikes_grrl on May 26th, 2008 07:32 am (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it! <3