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19 October 2007 @ 10:12 am
Dilemma (Part I)  
Title: Dilemma
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: NA/DB
Word Count: 11,000 (in two parts)
Rating: NC-17+
Summary: Nicholas, in love; Danny, confused; and everyone in the village thinks they're shagging anyway.

NOTES: Well after the ordeal that was First Time for Everything, I still wanted to go back and write the reverse story, with Danny as the ‘straight’ man and Nicholas as bi. So I did! The dynamics are completely different, by necessity, but I hope I managed to capture the spirit of the characters. Nicholas is less ‘retentive’ here but more ‘clinical,’ as I think he might be if he were comfortable with his sexuality but not his emotions; and Danny is more sexually innocent, although, hey, it’s Danny! And if you think Nicholas is fierce, wait ‘til you meet his mother…

Don’t worry, this is almost light-hearted, not too angst-full, and yes, I offer you up some more hot Angel/Butterman action (eh, eventually…). Please forgive me.



Dilemma: Part I


Nicholas knew that healthy, emotionally-connected sex was important for a person’s psychological and mental stability. But Janine hit the matter on the head, so to speak, when she accused Nicholas of loving his job more than her. Quite simply, good sex requires some kind of emotional investment that he rarely managed to muster. Despite his straight-laced reputation, he devoted a good deal of time and energy learning how to be a proper lover. He read books and carefully studied both porn and ‘chick flicks’ and tried women, men, older, younger, kinky and American and nothing broke him on a re-occurring basis, because he always felt detached from the process. He was very willing to do anything his partners suggested. They usually suggested that he lighten up and enjoy himself, and of course he tried that too. Every once in a while it worked and he had fond recollections of several ‘peak’ sexual moments that he was very proud of. Still, it just was not something that he managed to be comfortable with; it was like a math problem he knew how to solve but did not understand.

Then, one day, he discovered that he was passionately, madly, and erotically in love.

With a straight man.

----------

Danny stood in the doorway, panting, drenched in sweat, his uniform soaked through, his hair dripping. Nicholas felt the hard on spring on him and pulled his chair closer to the desk.

“Kor, Nicholas, it’s bloody hell out there.” Danny leaned against the door frame.

Nick just nodded, not trusting his voice, while trying to look professionally concerned.

“No one ever seen a summer like this. Gawwww!” Danny gasped for breath and turned so that his back was against the door frame. His head was tilted up and he closed his eyes.

Nicholas had to look down, but he still felt the blush flowing out to his ears. “Mmhmmm.” He coughed, hoping it sounded sympathetic.

“You’re looking boiled too! ’Ey, let’s change out and go to the pub. That new air conditioning system the Browns put in is a-maz-ing!” Danny said, pulling himself off of the supportive door frame and walking into Nicholas’ office. The Browns were the new owners of the pub, who were still “new” despite the fact that over a year had passed since the shootout with the NWA went down. By Sandford standards, they were sure to be “new” for at least another forty years.

As he stared at the boy in front of him Nicholas decided this was it. He was going to get up, grab him by his lapels, throw him onto the desk…push his tongue into his mouth…runs his hands over that broad chest…reach down and…

No! I…ahhhm…I would, Danny, but I have…a headache. From doing all this paperwork.” Nicholas gestured to his desk, which was spectacularly clear of any paperwork whatsoever. Danny put his hands on his hips and raised his eyebrows, concerned.

“You want me to give you a backrub?”

“…What?” Nicholas was fairly certain that his voice audibly cracked.

Danny shrugged. “Doris says I give great backrubs. Always fixes her headaches up good. ‘Ere…” He held his hands out and moved to march around the desk.

“No! No no no.” Nicholas threw both arms out as if trying to stop a train.

“Now Inspector, he gives incredible backrubs. He does.” Tony stood in the doorway, as wet and dripping as Danny, having just returned from a minor call. “Danny, remember when Jerry got the crup and I was up all hours wit’im? Those migraines I got ‘bout killed me but Danny, here, knocked them right out.”

Danny nodded helpfully, his hands still out in front of him.

“I’ll try to keep that in mind. I’m good for now, thanks.”

Danny shrugged, undefeated. “Maybe later.”

Nicholas wanted to shriek in frustration but he just nodded instead.

“Well Danny let’s go get washed up and down to the pub. I want to try out that new air conditioning.” Tony bobbed his head and walked off. Danny smiled at Nicholas and then wandered off. When he was sure that no one was left to see him, Nicholas rested his arms on the desk, put his head down, and groaned.

---------

He once defined himself as a one-hit wonder: someone or something new and exciting could push him over that edge into passion, but almost never for a second time, which is exactly why he learned to avoid one-night stands: they were addictive. However, after working side by side with Danny and sleeping next to him on the couch and waking up to find the boy nuzzling his shoulder, Nicholas had enough of blue balling and found a lame excuse to visit London. Alone.

Danny was upset. He fully expected that Nicholas would take him to London next time he went, and was not shy about saying so. The Andes loved this, and harassed Nicholas about it to the point where he was actually slinging waste tins back at them, which just made them redouble their efforts. After all, harassing Danny about it was pointless: he either did not get it, or did not care.

“Danny, I have business to attend to, and I will be visiting family. That’s all. You would be bored.”

They sat on Danny’s comfortable and warm couch, talking over Jackie Chan’s Supercop.

“Not the whole time.”

“Danny…”

“I dunno, Nicholas. Just seems like you’re runnin’ away or something.”

Nicholas stared at him.

“Right? Like you’re not happy…here.” Danny glowered and folded his arms, and looked surprisingly paternal.

“I thought you know how I feel about staying here, Danny.” Nicholas slurped his cider, not looking at his partner.

“I do. But you’re not tellin’ me something.” Danny looked straight at him, honest as sunlight, and Nicholas knew that he was damned to lie and damned to truth.

“Danny, sometimes…sometimes a man has to do some things by himself.”

“Like get off?”

Nicholas spit out his drink.

“I mean, you know, some things are personal, that’s all. You okay? Here…” Danny handed him a napkin from their take-out dinner so he could mop himself up.

“That’s not quite what I meant, but I think…erm, well, yes.”

“So you’re going to London to get some?” Danny shrugged thoughtfully, as if this were something he should have thought of a long time ago.

“That is NOT what I said, Danny!”

“Oh. Can’t you get some here? You know I could set you up with Aunt Marsha…” Danny chewed his lip, deep in consideration of how to solve this problem for Nicholas.

“Danny, stop! That’s not the point of this conversation?”

“It isn’t?”

“No!”

“Then why are you going? Without me?”

“Danny. You are a very good friend. Please understand that. But we can’t do everything together.”

“Why not? Well I mean, aside from, you know, that.

As that was part of the reason for this whole conversation, Nicholas had no answer. He shrugged in defeat.

“So I’m coming with you?”

“Yee…no. No.”

“You almost said yes.”

“No. Absolutely not, Danny.”

--------

London with Danny was fun. There was no other word for it. Nicholas showed Danny where he stabbed in the hand, with Danny re-enacting the whole scene incredibly inaccurately. They visited the Met headquarters and Danny nearly fell down the stairwell, he was so in awe of the place. Nicholas spent some time doing damage control when word got out that “Butterman is in the building” since most people only knew of Danny’s father because he was up on multiple murder charges. Butterman was a name in disgrace in the service, a fact which Nicholas had thus far been able to shield from Danny. When Danny realized why people were going out of their way to stare at him, he asked Nicholas what they could do about it.

“Nothing, Danny. You’ll just have put up with it, I suppose. They don’t know you and probably were not even aware you existed.”

Danny nodded, looking around. “I s’pose…I’ll just have to be the best policeman officer ever, to make up for Dad.”

“That’s a good way to think about it.”

“Still never be as good as you.”

Nicholas blushed and told him they had to leave in order to make it to dinner with his mother.

---------

“So you’re Danny? Lovely! Do come in.” Nicholas mother was as formal and polite as ever. She was tall, elegant, immaculate and well educated, and still disapproved of the service as a proper career for her youngest. She reminded Nicholas regularly that she really had meant for him to go into musical theater.

“Yes, Mrs. Angel. Thank you.” Danny shook her hand and walked into the house, nearly tripping over the antique Art Nouveau umbrella stand. It was signed and numbered. Nicholas’ mother paled and glared at Nicholas, who grimaced right back at her. Danny asked a lot of questions about the African tribal masks on display and said that his favorite musical was Grease, and inquired about why she put carpets up on the walls if she had steam heat anyway. Nicholas, who spent most of the trip prior preparing himself mentally for this disaster, just sat silently, answering polite questions and eating the tete de veau, which after all was something like comfort food to him. Danny ate it, but unwillingly and out of a drilled-in sense of manners. When everything was cleared away, Danny perched nervously on the couch next to Nicholas, who was sprawled back with his arms stretched out in this most familiar of environments for him, as his Mother served up a nice Cabernet Sauvignon. Then she served up Nicholas.

“How long will you be in Sandford?”

“For a long time, Mother.”

“Will you be buying a house?”

“No, Mother, I have a cottage provided for me.”

“A cottage.”

“A very nice cottage, Mother.”

“And him?”

“Me?” Danny looked at Nicholas in confusion.

Nicholas took a moment to process, then lurched up. “He’s a friend, Mother.” He said it warningly, knowing that she knew his voice well enough to hear what he was telling her. Danny just bounced his eyes back and forth between them, as if watching a tennis match.

“I’m not an idiot, Nicholas.” She was going to push the matter, was her return tone of voice to him.

“Mother…”

“So he’s the reason you’re staying out there in the sticks?”

“Mother!”

“Sure, Mrs. Angel.” Danny looked at her, as if explaining that the sky is blue. “We’re partners. That’s what partners do.”

Nicholas went stone-faced. He thought he would die, right there, on his mother’s incredibly expensive Moroccan Berber carpet. She slowly turned her head and smiled at him, enjoying her victory.

“Of course, Danny. I understand perfectly. More wine?”

-----

“You’re mum’s nice!” Danny said as they walked into their hotel.

“She’s a witch.”

“Nicholas! You do not say things like that about your mum. I don’t ever want to hear you say that again.”

Nicholas snorted.

“She can’t cook, though.”

As Nicholas thought the food was the only redeeming feature of that horrific experience, he did not answer. They got up to their room and Nicholas collapsed into the chair near the window, mentally calculating how many years it would be before he ever tried to visit his mother again. He thought ten was a nice, round number.

Danny sat on the edge of his bed, expectantly.

“What?”

“Well…aren’t we going to…you know?” He bounced on the bed. Nicholas’ skin went utterly red and his vision blurred.

“Wha…?” He lost his voice.

“You know! Go out and get you some! Saw a few pubs close by, looked busy!”

Nicholas was speechless. He had completely wiped that part of his plans out of his mind the minute he said Danny could join him in London. He really did not need anything else when Danny was around, anyway. Other than Danny, of course.

“Er…”

“Com’on! Put on some more aftershave and let’s go. It’s only eight o’clock, Nicholas! We’re on vacation! In London! Kor you can be thick sometimes…” Danny shook his head, amazed by Nicholas’ stupidity, and got up to change shirts.

Danny hustled them out of the hotel as Nicholas repeatedly stated that he was tired, he was not feeling well, his stomach hurt, they planned on getting up early, and…

“Nice place.” Danny smiled as the sat with their lagers in a semi-fashionable bar filled with young professionals and their hanger-ons. “Pretty girls here, Nick. I think you’ll do alright.”

“Danny…have you really considered the logistics of this?” Nicholas was so close to panic that he felt like laughing.

“What y’mean?”

“Just say, I do meet a girl and ‘get some.’ Where will you sleep?”

Danny considered this. “Mmm. I can nap in the hotel lobby.”

Nicholas rubbed his temples.

“Got a headache? I can give you a ba….”

“No backrubs!”

Danny leaned back in his chair. “Nick, what’s the matter? You been on eggshells since we got to your mum’s place.”

“She’s a very stressful woman, Danny.”

“Perceptive, you mean.”

“What?”

“She saw right through us, didn’she?”

“Whaaa…what do you mean?”

“Well she knows were more than friends.”

“…Partners?” Nicholas’ stomach dropped.

“Right!”

“Danny, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but I have to tell you, what she meant and what you mean…oh bloody hell.” Nicholas gave up, closed his eyes and held his head in his hands.

“The Andes think we’re benders too, Nicholas. I really don’t care.”

Nicholas head shot up so hard he cracked his neck. “Danny! Oh god I did not mean to make this uncomfortable for you…” Nicholas looked away, furious with himself.

“You’re the one making yourself uncomfortable. I told you: I don’t care.” Danny shrugged and sipped his lager. “So you want to find someone? I mean, girl or guy, I guess…” Danny did blush at the last.

“Danny, how could you possibly know this about me?”

“Because you get so mad about it, Nick. The Andes can’t say the word ‘bender’ without you throwing something at them. Anyway, you always…er…” Danny started a very forced coughing fit.

Nicholas thought hard about asking the next question. “I always what?”

Danny blushed. “Well, it don’t really matter. ‘Ere, he’s good looking. Like Tom Cruise.” He pointed, and Nicholas instinctively looked, and was caught in the deep blue stare of a very good looking man who was very aware of the fact that both he and Danny were looking at him. Nicholas tried to put on a fierce, ‘no-thank-you’ expression and looked away.

“Stop pointing, Danny.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Danny, we’re leaving.”

“No, we aren’t.”

“Yes we are.”

“Not you’re type?”

Nicholas stared at him. “No, in fact, he’s not.”

“So you don’t like Tom Cruise? The Andes say all benders like Tom Cruise.”

Nicholas ground his teeth.

“Y’know, they said Skinner was one too!” Danny scooted in to share the conspiracy theory.

“I wouldn’t know, Danny.”

“Oh. Well. Just what they said.” Danny sniffed and drank his lager, absolutely unmovable. When the waitress came by again, Nicholas ordered a gin and tonic. A double. He was not going through with the rest of this trip sober.

“Danny, let’s just talk about what you want to do tomorrow, okay?”

Later he was fabulously drunk and everyone looked beautiful and he really needed to use the loo. Danny helped him to stand and pointed the way. The bar was very crowded and it took forever for him to remember how to use a zipper, and he also stopped to pay their tab which required far more eye-hand coordination than he possessed at the time, so it was quite a while before he came back to the table and found Danny kissing the man with deep blue eyes.

The man was leaning forward and held Danny’s face with one hand, the other dropped down and resting on Danny’s thigh. Danny rested a hand on top of his, but kept a hold on his lager with his other. Their eyes were closed and while the kiss was relatively chaste, the stranger was gamely attempting to push the matter…or his tongue as the case might be. As he pulled back he sucked on Danny’s lower lip and Nicholas felt himself flush with arousal.

“Oh.” Danny said, opening his eyes.

The man smiled, then saw Nicholas. Something clicked and he got up quickly.

“I’m sorry. He said you two weren’t…together.”

Danny’s head swiveled over and registered Nicholas. “Ay! Nick! This is...”

“Get up. We’re leaving.” Nicholas never took his eyes off of the man. When no one moved, he turned and barked at Danny. “Now!” He marched off.

Out on the street Danny ran to catch up with him. “Damn, Nicholas! Slow down!”

“WHAT! What! What on EARTH were you doing?” Nicholas turned on him, his voice pitching up with every word.

Danny stopped and blushed and looked around. “Just wanted to see what it was like.”

“WHAT?”

“Shh. You’re yelling.”

“Answer me!” Nicholas pointed at the ground between them.

“I did!”

Nicholas breathed and tried to collect himself. “I mean, why? Danny, you’re a grown man, you’d know if you were…interested. A kiss won’t change that!”

“It was a nice kiss.”

“WHAT?”

“Shhhhhh!” Danny looked around nervously, and Nicholas registered that they were actually causing a scene. He pointed fiercely in the direction of the hotel and started walking again.

As soon as they were in their room, he rounded on Danny again.

“And why did you tell him we aren’t together?"

“Not like he’d kiss me if he thought you was my boyfriend!” Danny rolled his eyes.

As usual, Danny’s argument was illogical enough to be unassailable.

“Danny, please tell me this does not have anything to do with the fact that you want to be like me.”

Danny shrugged and looked off. “You are the best, Nicholas.”

“But not because I sleep with men!” Nicholas clasp a hand over his mouth the second he said it. He went and sat down in the chair, keeping his hand over his mouth, and Danny sat down on his bed.

“I didn’t think you’d get mad about it.”

“Why wouldn’t I? Christ, Danny, I’m…responsible for you.”

“You’re not my dad, Nicholas.” Danny shrugged off his jacket and ran a hand through his hair, looking worried. “Is that what you think? That I’m like…your kid brother or something?”

Nicholas was buzzed but sober enough to realize that honesty was not the best policy. “Yes, that’s exactly how I think of you. I care about you, Danny…you’re my best friend and my partner and…well, yes.”

Danny nodded and they sat in silence for a while.

“You didn’t ‘ave to yell at me.”

“I’m sorry. You just caught me unprepared.”

“’Cause I was kissing a bloke?”

“Yes. Exactly.” Nicholas let out a huge breath and stretched out in the chair, tilting his head back and closing his eyes. “Why don’t you get ready for bed, Danny? Take a shower. Let’s just start over tomorrow.”

Danny did, and while he was in the shower, Nicholas masturbated on his bed until he saw stars. Watching Danny kissing that stranger – kissing at all, in fact – was more than he could handle and he knew it. He planned on masturbating again in the shower once Danny was safely in bed, under covers. And again in the morning, somehow.

-------

That morning they both suffered from hang-overs, and Nicholas was sore in other areas for other, repeated reasons. They went to visit the places where The Long Good Friday was filmed, as Danny requested, and by afternoon they were both back on comfortable footing. There was one more night to kill, and Nicholas was waiting for the next incredibly bad idea Danny might come up with.

“So, ‘no’ to your mum.”

“Not going back. Period.”

“No pub?”

“You can’t be trusted.”

Danny laughed. “Well we got to do something.”

“Do we?”

“Sit in the hotel room all night? In London?” Danny looked scandalized.

“I suppose not.”

Danny shook his head. “Pub?”

Nicholas insisted on a different bar. This actually was a pub and catered to an older, local crowd. Danny frowned a bit.

“What, Danny?”

“Not like you’re going to get some here.”

“I wasn’t planning to. And certainly not here.”

Danny frowned more and inspected a couple of women at the bar.

“And neither are you, Danny.”

“There’s two of them. Together.” He winked.

“Stop. Just stop.”

“Right. Because you’re ‘responsible’ for me.” Danny drank half his lager in one gulp.

Nicholas did not know what to say. This was something that obviously rankled Danny, but in all honesty he did not understand why. Part of him really did consider Danny his responsibility, and he did not see any harm in that. The part of him that did not consider Danny his responsibility was the part he was having the most problems with, anyway. Not that Danny ever needed to know that. He decided to just change the topic and told him some nonsense story about the night he helped round up a small gang of hoodlums not far from where they were. It was not much of a story, as action films go, but it did the trick. Danny relaxed, ordered another lager, and their night got exponentially better. For a while.

As they left the pub Danny waved to the two ladies who where still at the bar and Nicholas steered him out the door.

“We could’a talked to them.”

“No.”

Danny pulled his arm out of Nicholas’ grasp and marched on ahead. When Nicholas caught up, Danny gave him a furious look. “Who are you t’tell me who I can and can’t talk to?”

Nicholas nearly stopped dead in surprise. “No one. Danny, you can talk to whomever you like.”

“As long as you say it’s okay?”

“Danny, you’re drunk. Let’s not get into this right now.”

“I’m not your kid brother, Nicholas.” Danny stopped walking, serious and angry.

“Danny, can we please not have a fight?” Nicholas shoved his hands in his coat pockets, considering how much not like a kid brother he thought Danny was. Not at all. But if Danny wanted to think of things that way, perhaps it was best. Safest.

“Sure. If you start treating me like a partner.” Danny crossed his arms.

“Partners care about each other, and I care about you. Define it as you like.”

Danny chewed on that. “So, you mean like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid?”

“I’d really rather not go out in a ignoble blaze of glory.”

“No, we’re the good guys, remember?”

Nicholas laughed. Danny smiled, not quite forgiving Nicholas, but willing to try. They walked back to the hotel, and at some point Danny threw a slightly drunken arm over Nicholas, who was just drunk enough to get turned on and just sober enough not to do anything about it.

As they sat on their beds taking off their shoes, Danny looked over at Nicholas. “So you’re not getting any on this trip, Nick. Sorry about that.”

“I’m not, Danny. I’d rather be with you anyway.” Nicholas threw his shoe down and as it hit the floor he realized what he said. Flustered, he looked up at Danny, who was studying him.

“You mean that?”

“Ahhh…”

“You mean it?” Danny asked forcefully, looking at Nicholas, firm and demanding and as damn attractive as Nicholas ever thought he could possibly get.

He rubbed his knees and closed his eyes as he answered. “Yes, Danny, I do. I thought you’d understand that by now, honestly, although I was trying....” He sighed. “Does it make you uncomfortable? Oh fuck of course it does.” He growled and massaged his temples. Danny sat rubbing his hands together.

“Just glad to know, I s’pose.” Danny got up and went in to take a shower, his expression closed.

By the time he emerged, Nicholas was already in his pajamas and in bed. They looked at each other for a moment and Danny headed for his bed. He sat down and looked at Nicholas again.

“I don’t care, Nick. You’re my partner and I can handle this. Anyway, nice to be wanted by someone, in’it?” He laughed, a small little laugh that made Nicholas smile despite the topic of conversation.

“I’m glad, Danny. I don’t…I don’t want to lose you, Partner.” He grimaced at how poorly he was handling this.

“Me neither, Partner.” Danny smiled and got into bed, falling asleep instantly while Nicholas laid awake for hours, listening to the man he loved, now more than ever.

-------

Back in Sandford, things fell into the normal routine so quickly that Nicholas had to remind himself that he just got back from vacation. The Andes ragged on him but he kept remembering what Danny said about getting too mad over it, and instead tried to take a page out of Danny’s SOP: he ignored them. It somehow provided a calming influence and after about a week, all jokes about “Bending London” stopped. His mother sent him a package addressed to “My Boys, The Cottage, Sandford,” which the psychic mailman delivered to Nicholas’ house, containing a very nice antique tea set that Nicholas managed not to hurl at his living room wall.

Their movie nights went on uninterrupted. Danny was as good as his word and changed nothing of his behavior, sitting right next to Nicholas on the couch and patting him on the knee during exciting car chases (Nicholas made sure they watched movies with a lot of car chases). Once a week, they ate dinner at Nicholas’ house, as he tried to finesse some interest in international gourmet cuisine into Danny, under the terrifying prospect that they might have to face Nicholas’ mother again sometime in this eternity.

---------

“Autumn! It’s beautiful out, Nicholas. You need to get outdoors.”

“I spent all day yesterday raking leaves, Danny. I’m good.”

“Your garden isn’t that big.” Danny looked at him suspiciously.

“No, but I was helping Widow Holmes across the way.”

“Helping, as in, doing it for her?”

“Yes, of course. The woman can barely stand. The leaves were a foot deep.”

“Ah, poor dear. Good of you, Nicholas.”

“I thought so.” He inspected his blistered hands with displeasure.

“Well come over after work. I finally got Boondock Saints!”

Nicholas nodded, wondering yet again what exactly the criteria was for Danny to buy a film. Chuck Norris: Yes; finely honed cinematic classic: Maybe someday. He rubbed his temples.

“You got a headache again?”

“Yes.”

“Stress.”

“Oh, yes.”

“Hm. You comin’ over, right?”

“Right. As always, Danny.”

He showed up with an offering of lager and Chinese take-out at about 7pm. Danny already had the movie ready to go. As they sat watching Willem DeFoe sashay through a murder scene, Danny chuckled.

“What?”

“I used’a think all benders were like that. All girly, you know.”

“And now you don’t.”

Danny looked at him incredulously. “Kor, I can’t imagine you in a dress, Nicholas.”

Nicholas laughed so hard he fell off the couch and nearly banged his head on the coffee table. As he started whining, trying to breathe, he felt Danny sitting down behind him.

“Don’t move!”

“Danny…what…ohmyyyygod…” Nicholas went lightheaded as Danny’s hands ground into his shoulders and neck. He pulled and tugged at his upper back until Nicholas thought he was going to pass out from the endorphin release. He propped his arms up over Danny’s knees and tried to keep breathing evenly through the glorious pain. They were right, everyone was right: Danny knew how to give a killer massage.

When Danny finally stopped, Nicholas was certain that, at some point during the process, he saw the face of God. He could not remember a time outside of pure, unadulterated drunkenness that he ever felt better. He leaned blissfully back into Danny, who had his hands resting lightly on his shoulders, and tilted his head up.

“God, I love you.”

They both froze for a second, before Nicholas lowered his head back down and stared straight ahead, trying to figure out a way to take that back. Danny was not moving, not even breathing as far as Nicholas could tell.

Whatever Nicholas was planning, it was a bad idea. He knew it. He crossed that line and there was no taking back those words. They could pretend forever but…

He got up, turned around, and placing Danny’s legs between his, sat in his lap. Danny just looked up at him, blank.

“You want to kiss a man, Danny? Then let’s do it.” He grabbed his shirt and pulled him to his lips. Danny’s arms instinctively wrapped around Nicholas to stabilize them both but it was obvious to Nicholas that he was still holding his breath. He pushed against Danny’s mouth and finally breached it, and he tasted as sweet as he imagined, every time he made himself come thinking about Danny’s lips. Finally Danny had to breathe, gasping for air, but Nicholas was not letting him out of this. He smothered his mouth onto Danny’s, moving his tongue into Danny, tasting and tempting and teasing with every ounce of pent of passion he had held onto for the last two years.

Danny’s arms were locked around him, but he was not responding. He let Nicholas into him, he accepted the kiss, but he was holding back from reacting. Nicholas released the shirt and moved his arms into a hug, one hand sliding down Danny’s back and the other up to his head, trailing his fingers through his hair, and running a thumb across the top of his ear. He finally decided to pull back and slowly, achingly, drew his mouth away, but not before nibbling Danny’s lips lightly with his teeth.

They sat looking at each other. Nicholas did not want to move out of Danny’s embrace, ever.

“Is that what you wanted to know, Danny?”

Danny nodded.

Nicholas brought his arms around to Danny’s chest and grabbed his shirt again, pulling him close, but stopping before their lips met. “I’m going to kiss you again, Danny.”

Danny nodded.

This time Nicholas felt Danny’s muscles relax, and his tongue start to press against Nicholas’ explorations. Nicholas caught Danny’s tongue with his lips and sucked, pulling his tongue into his mouth, not too harshly, just enough, and he felt Danny’s arms tighten around him as he pushed forward against Nicholas, forcing their bodies together. Again Nicholas let go of the shirt and let his hands roam and he heard Danny whimper. He pulled back and found Danny breathless in his arms, staring up at him in confusion and wonder. He leaned back further and unbuttoned Danny’s shirt, took it off of him, and then pulled off his undershirt. Danny’s arms returned to their place, wrapped around Nicholas.

Nicholas leaned forward and traced a trail of kisses from Danny’s mouth to his ear, one hand dropping down to pet the faint hair on Danny’s chest. “Stop me, Daniel.” He whispered into his ear before darting his tongue out to run along the sensitive skin he found there. Danny was holding his breath again. “You have to stop me, because I want you, and I will not stop.” He moved his tongue into Danny’s ear, sliding it in and out in light and teasing movements, listening to Danny’s small, responsive whining. He drew back again, getting desperate. He did not want to take advantage of Danny, but he did want him, and for the first time in his life he was not sure he could hold himself in line. He was relying on Danny to put that barrier up for both of them, but he wasn’t, and the very idea that Danny was not stopping him filled Nicholas with urgency. He kissed him again, open mouthed, greedy, and hard.

Danny pulled his arms in and pushed him back in automatic panic. “Nick…Nick…I don’t…”

Nicholas gasped and jumped up. “Danny! I know…” He stood in front of Danny and rubbed his mouth, the horror of what he was doing to the boy settling on him. “Christ, Danny, I have to get out of here.” He spun and walked to the door and then hit the streets at a flat, full-out run.
 
 
Current Mood: satisfiedsatisfied
 
 
 
A Better Word for Weird: i'm not that drunk (hot fuzz)a_leprechaun on October 19th, 2007 04:56 pm (UTC)
Oh.My.God. Clinical!Nicholas = HOT. That last bit made me go O_O

So *cough* yeah. Good beginning. And for some reason the "psychic mailman" made me giggle.
mikes_grrl on October 20th, 2007 02:12 am (UTC)
AWESOME! I loved the "psychic mailman" gag -- I would imagine that a mailman who has lived and worked in a small village his whole life would almost be thought of as psychic, just because he knows so much. LOL! It was a fun throw-away.

Thanks!
nomuh on October 19th, 2007 11:07 pm (UTC)
You’re a great writer, no doubt about that. I love your ability to write interactions between people! And this Nicholas is very interesting. I still have some problem imagining him that sexually active, but you make it believable.

But (you could tell from a mile away that there was going to be a “but”, right?) I really don’t like the women in your stories. Like I said last time, they are just too perfect. Even the mother didn’t seem all that bad, and I didn’t quite understand Nicholas’ feeling towards her.

And while Doris is only mentioned in this part, I have to get it off my chest: I don’t recognize her at all in your stories.
In the movie she is so obviously a dirty minded slut who cracks dirty jokes left and right like it’s nobody’s business, she is just as lazy as everybody else at the station, and is overall just the village version of a bimbo, with little to no ability to understand the finer emotions of the human psyche, but we hear very little of these things in your stories.
I know it sounds like an anti-Doris rant, but those are actually all the reasons why I love her. When I first watched the movie I though, “What the-?! They actually dared make a female character like that!? Wohoo! Go them!”
Because usually I get offended by characters like that, but I know Edgar and Simon can write believable and lovable females, like Liz (and even Dianne to a certain degree) from Shaun of the Dead, so I “get” Doris.

And it’s the same with you. You have proven time and time again that you can write strong, lovable females, so relax. Go nuts with Doris! Have fun! Make her the horny bastard she so obviously is. :)

I’ll shut up now. I was going to rant a little about Danny too, but I wouldn’t want to sound like too much of a bitch. But please understand that the reason why I give you (hopefully) constructive criticism is because you’re actually good, and I feel like there’s some use in telling you what I feel could use some improvement. :)
mikes_grrl on October 20th, 2007 01:12 am (UTC)
Good call on Doris; I have a lot of problems with her. Not with her in the movie, so much, but building out from that: Okay! Horney bastard chicka! Go! But...I dunno...I think my favorite characterization of her so far that I've done was in "Hazy Fuzz" where she did not even appear in person. In my mind she's probably the next inspector after Nicholas, believe it or not. I'm just not sure how I'm getting her there.

Anyway, good crit! Thank you!

And oh, Nicholas' mother is just as perfect as he is; that is the joke, or it was supposed to be. He hates her because they are actually too much alike. Perhaps did not capture that well.

I'd like to know what you were going to rant about Danny, though. Bring it on! I appreciate it.

And I know you would not bother if you did not enjoy the story, so I really take it as a complement. Thanks!
(Deleted comment)
mikes_grrl on April 24th, 2008 01:26 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm glad that's a good thing, then! :) Thank you very much...I kind of liked her too.

mikes_grrl on October 20th, 2007 01:30 am (UTC)
Oh eh part II is written but I'm still puttering with it, particularly with Danny in the final scenes which has NOT proven to be easy. Now is the time to speak up! :)

(hint hint)
hmcgirl on October 19th, 2007 11:17 pm (UTC)
GIGANTIC HOORAY!!!!!

Super sexy and wonderful, I love it and I can't wait for the next part!
mikes_grrl on October 20th, 2007 02:10 am (UTC)
Cool! Thanks! Next part tomorrow, I think. Still trying to tie up bits and pieces. Glad you are enjoying it!
Skewskew_whiff on October 19th, 2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
Holy crap, surprise ending! I like the suddenness of that. Your stories are really growing on me; I wasn't sure initially, but they've been getting better and better.

Brit-picking time: We call it 'autumn' not 'fall', and it's fairly rare to refer to the garden as the yard. Minor details, I know, but in British fandoms that stuff tends to throw me a little.

Anyway, yes, apart from minor quibbles, quite entertaining. I'm looking forward to part two.
mikes_grrl on October 20th, 2007 01:15 am (UTC)
ALL about the Brit picking time, thank you! Will make changes accordingly! Anytime you see that, feel free to nit pick. Thanks!
Rhea: edgar wrightsaturn_shumba on October 20th, 2007 12:44 am (UTC)
Your stories help me get through the work day. My coworkers watch soaps at lunch...I read your fanfics. ♥ ♥
mikes_grrl on October 20th, 2007 01:15 am (UTC)
Awwww, thanks! That really makes my day to hear that; it's why I write, for happy-happy-joy-joy!
stelluci: Sexystelluci on October 20th, 2007 03:39 am (UTC)
BAM! That was fantastic.

“Stop me, Daniel....You have to stop me, because I want you, and I will not stop.”

That is such a Nicholas thing to say. I can hardly believe the ending, too!

50 points!
zombie survivalist: deliriously happybeccavox on October 20th, 2007 04:25 am (UTC)
okay, I'm loving this one, too, even though I wasn't sure if I could. I always think of N/D as a very likely/unlikely pairing, but I'd never really thought of the relationship with Nicolas as the one who is initiating. But I'm with you that he would be clinical...he's even a bit clinical in the shootout in Sandford. And I shouldn't admit it, but that is just the sexiest thing ever.

I read the other comments and have to tell you that I liked the exchange with the boys and Nicolas's mum. I've always pictured his mother as someone who would smother her son with affection (don't know why, I just do), but to see her as the perfect example of a female Nick was fun. And Danny was just the sweetest antidote to her cold demeanor.

Okay, I'm done...I'm loving these stories! Where's part 2?!?!?!?!?!
rhea530: happyangelrhea530 on October 20th, 2007 04:15 pm (UTC)
I am really enjoying this series. I love that you've made Nicholas the baby of the family. Also, thank you for introducing his Mom! Now we all know where Nicky gets his obsession-compulsive perfection streak from. Great fic, can't wait for part two!
sexually frightened know-it-all: cootieshawkeyefreak72 on October 20th, 2007 07:00 pm (UTC)
Awww Nick! I want to give him such a big hug ; ; That last part did get me even more sad (originally from a different reason)I totally love your writing it's amazing.