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05 October 2007 @ 12:37 am
Fanfic  
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Pairing: NA/DB
Title: Scars
Rating: PG-13 

WARNING!! Saccharine alert! Angsty sugery pap ahead. Proceed with extreme caution.




For a big man, Danny made a remarkably small figure when hunched in on himself, naked, on the edge of a double bed.

 

Nicholas sat on the end of the same bed, turned toward his partner, just out of touching distance.

“Danny,” Nicholas’ voice was pleading and frustrated, “please.”

Danny grunted and wrapped his hand more firmly around his beefy forearm, pulling it closer to his body.

 

“Come on, it’s not as though we haven’t done this before,” Nicholas reasoned, frowning at this unexpected and unwelcome burst of romantic complication from his larger partner.

Danny shot him a look full of betrayal and worry, accompanied by a terse, “Not like this,” that was enough to make Nicholas roll his eyes and head back in frustration, regretting it when he saw Danny flush and turn further towards the wall.

 

Nicholas sighed and deliberately softened his voice, standing and walking to look down at Danny, still not touching him, “Danny.  What is it?  Please, you know I want this.”  Danny avoided the touch of Nicholas’ gaze as doggedly as he had avoided his attempts at physical contact.

“I just don’t think…I mean…can’t we just do what we always do?” was addressed wretchedly to the frayed edge of the carpet where it tenderly caressed the wall.

 

Nicholas sighed, again.

“I love what we do, you know that.  But I want, it could be better. Don’t you want me?”  Nicholas hesitated before he added the last sentence, because this was what he was afraid of, that Danny would let him have so much because he adored him, but that it was really just misplaced hero worship, and that this final act was more than Danny could allow.  And if that was the case, Nicholas could no longer be with his partner, however that – made him feel.

“ ‘Course I want you.” Danny’s voice was so low it was almost non-existent, “ – want you so much I – ” and then his staccato conversation once more broke off.

 

Finally, Danny raised his eyes.  Nicholas gave him a soft lopsided smile and stopped pushing.

Danny bit his lip.  “Show me your scars,” he asked, reaching first for Angel’s hand and turning it slowly over, running soft fingertips over the slightly curved line on the back and palm, where it bisected the life line with neat irony.

Nicholas’ breath caught but he let Danny do whatever he wanted, and shrugged out of his open shirt with the free arm, dropping it down onto the hand that Danny still held, then to the floor when Danny let go.

 

He stood at a slight angle to his seated lover and raised a hand to the thin network of scars on his shoulder from when he was shot, brushed the fingers lightly across it.  But Danny had moved his hand to Nicholas’ chest, and a tiny, white indentation on his left bicep.  He ran his fingers one by one across the groove, making Nicholas shiver with his whispering touch.

“Never though it’d go through the notebook.”

 

Nicholas huffed out half a laugh, “Dan, it’s a nick.  I’ve been shot and stabbed through the hand, this is nothing.  Didn’t even feel it.”

“Still, marked you.  Your body is – it shouldn’t be marked.”

Nicholas smiled again and held Danny’s hand to his chest, “I like it.  I like that you’ve marked me,” and then he almost stopped, not wanting to be too sentimental.  But then he saw the look on Danny’s face and realised a little sentimentality might be just what his partner needed,

“it reminds me where you belong.”

“By your nipple?” Danny looked confused, but it was a vast improvement on hurt, and let Nicholas clarify the words he meant with every fibre of his being without too much self-ridicule,

“ – my heart.”

 

“Oh.”  And then Danny went quiet, for a long time, and Nicholas stood feeling Danny’s home beat hard against his hand.

 

“I don’t want to hurt you.”  Danny kept his eyes fixed on the place where his hand covered Nicholas’ scar.

Nicholas shook his head, a little confused, “You won’t,” and then he got it, “Danny.  You won’t.”

“No one should hurt you.” 

Nicholas closed his eyes as he felt his throat close too, and he saw Constable Butterman flying through the air in front of him before falling to the ground, shaking with the absorption of dozens of pieces of red hot metal.

 

“Danny, I –” say it say it just fucking say it! Shit. 

“You won’t hurt me, I want you, I want you in me, like you’re in me here,” and he squeezed his hand over the other man’s for emphasis – at least he could say what he meant though actions.

Danny just shook his head and they were back to where they had started.

 

“Please Danny.  Show me, show me how much you want me.”

“But I’m so big.”  And at that Nicholas had to laugh,

“You’re not that big,” making Danny flush, but there was the beginnings of a smile on his face and he was warm and firming against Nicholas’ thigh.

“-m didn’t mean that,” he mumbled into Nick’s neck and Nicholas felt something loosen and warm in his chest as Danny finally began to touch him, and didn’t flinch when he began to touch back.

 

“So,” Nicholas asked breathlessly as Danny began to kiss his neck and move against his leg, his hands roaming over Nicholas’ body like he owned it, “are you gonna fuck me now?”

Danny shook his head and moved it back the fraction necessary to look into his partner’s eyes,

“No.”

But before Nicholas could respond, Danny continued, “Not fuck.” And then he started to say something that started with “make” and ended with an eye roll, and Nicholas realised that Danny couldn’t say it either.  Not yet. 

And that that was just fine with him

 
 
 
Current Mood: sleepysleepy
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
iskytheiskiskytheisk on October 5th, 2007 08:41 am (UTC)
Thank you! *is pleased to have inspired such large text in a comment!*
zombie survivalist: kermitbeccavox on October 5th, 2007 12:41 am (UTC)
i can see that i won't be getting any work done tonight...this story, on top of the gloves and the glasses, has put my brain into a complete meltdown.

ahhh, i love this community...
iskytheiskiskytheisk on October 5th, 2007 08:49 am (UTC)
Thanks! I like melting peoples brains, it's a hobby. *grin*
(no subject) - spamala97 on October 5th, 2007 12:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
iskytheiskiskytheisk on October 5th, 2007 08:46 am (UTC)
Thanks! I didn't think it was too much of a reach for the demented penknife to go through a crappy little notebook. Glad you enjoyed it, and let's face it, any fic that mentions nipples is good for a laugh, eh?!
lacking in glitter: subtexttawg on October 5th, 2007 06:48 am (UTC)
Bwee! This was so completely cute. And you managed to totally nail the awkwardness inherent in any conversation between two men about their feelings.
iskytheiskiskytheisk on October 5th, 2007 08:48 am (UTC)
Thank you! I figure neither are the most emotionally articulate of people, so have to talk though body language...you know, the way they do through the ENTINRE film!
lacking in glitter: subtexttawg on October 5th, 2007 08:52 am (UTC)
You did a really good job of getting all that body language across, Danny's insecure sulk and Nicholas' stressed confusion at the beginning...
iskytheiskiskytheisk on October 5th, 2007 09:06 am (UTC)
*beams* I've never been brilliant at dialogue, so it's great to know that the rest is okay. There are still a few clumsy phrases in there that I wanna clean up, but I wrote and posted it at midnight last night and was too tired to do more than point and click. Thanks, again.
mikes_grrl on October 5th, 2007 10:17 am (UTC)
Agreed, you really caught the, er, subtext of Danny's body language.

And for the record, I think you hit on something about Danny not wanting to hurt Nick. I think that really would be something he'd worry about, in every aspect. Nice touch!

And yah: Hawtness! Mmmmm...
iskytheiskiskytheisk on October 5th, 2007 03:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I do think Danny really places Nick on a pedestal, and reckon this would easily translate into a desire not to hurt him, in 'every aspect' indeed.
La Femme Crayola: black books all your bees by erin_iconsannlarimer on October 5th, 2007 02:19 pm (UTC)
“it reminds me where you belong.”
“By your nipple?”


Oh, love for this!
iskytheiskiskytheisk on October 5th, 2007 03:39 pm (UTC)
Thank you! *grin*
Love back for the icon - yay hungover Absinthe!Manny
sexually frightened know-it-all: slasherhawkeyefreak72 on October 7th, 2007 12:53 am (UTC)
omfgthisisadorable I'm chocking on my own tears!! ;_;
iskytheiskiskytheisk on October 7th, 2007 12:35 pm (UTC)
Thanks! *gives tissue* glad you liked it.
Skitz_phenom: HF - Mineskitz_phenom on October 25th, 2007 05:43 pm (UTC)
Goodness gracious - I don't think I've ever enjoyed 'Angsty sugery pap' more in my life!

This is just so very sweet, and so very tender and it really hits upon certain insecurities that people can have. It's obvious that Danny will do whatever it takes to protect Nicholas, to keep him from being hurt, and you communicate that brilliantly here.

I think I may have mentioned before - but I really enjoy your writing style. You've got a way with turning a phrase that is very pleasurable to read.

...where it bisected the life line with neat irony. That's just gorgeous.

Both the "By your nipple>" and “You’re not that big,” made me giggle aloud!

I love that Nicholas already 'feels' the love for Danny, but he just can't say it. So adorable. Makes the ending so much more perfect. I can very easily picture Danny's eye roll there.

I adored this fic! It melted me into a warm puddle of blissful goo. Fantastic job!