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22 August 2007 @ 03:58 am
Fic for the animal brotherhood that is Saxon and Sandford's Most Wanted.

Title: Police Dogging
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 44.Stray
Word Count: 454
Rating: PG-13

Part of being a good police dog was knowing when to growl and when to actually bite someone.

Saxon knew the ins and outs of every standard response situation: Wait for the signal, then pounce on the target, get a good grip, and sink your teeth in to the bone. Give a hard shake if need be, and for the love of raw hide, don’t let go. He knew all about how people tasted, how different blood could make you gag or your head hurt, and how afterwards he always got to play fetch or cuddle with Doris. He knew he could go to the Andes for a biscuit or a walk, and that Danny would spoil him rotten if he wanted. He could sit by Tony for hours and listen to him talk about nothing, falling asleep comfortably on the heating vent by his desk in the winter. Most of all, he knew Bob would always take care of him, would always give him a bit of steak on Sunday’s and let him sleep by the bed, if not on it.

He did not know many stray dogs. There simply weren’t any in Sandford. His training didn’t tell him how to handle them, and therefore was expected to ignore them, but his instincts

They were what clued him in that something was wrong at the castle. Another dog, a strong scent, meaning he was intact, was lingering in the wind, taunting him. Leash laws in Sandford made it impossible to go check on his own, but he did his best to let Bob know what was wrong.

Fortunately, being a man who struggled to communicate with humans, Bob was well in-tune with animals. They went for a walk by the castle that morning, taking their time to get to work.

Just as Saxon expected, a mixed-breed hound was chewing on something quite dead, snarling as it ripped at the dead animal’s neck. Saxon began to growl, his ruff spiking, as Bob tried to call him back. Lunging forward, the leash breaking free of Bob’s grip, Saxon leapt on the other dog, grabbing it by the neck and shaking, until Bob chucked a rock at Saxon’s head and yanked hard on his leash.

The other dog rounded on the old man, crouching to attack, but just as the interloper went to jump, Saxon pounced again, driving the dog back, attacking with the speed and power of a police dog in full action.

“G’boy,” Bob muttered, crouching to pat Saxon on the head. “Sag’boy. Jushabiddnshem, sallinis. Shem…”

Saxon didn’t understand what his master meant, not until he turned and sniffed tentatively at the air, looking more intently at the corpse. He knew that beak…


Title: I’m Glad You’re a Dog
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 65.Instead
Word Count: 224
Rating: PG

“I can’t stand to see a dog mope,” Tony sighed, scratching Saxon’s ears.

“No word on that other dog yet,” Danny said, standing by Tony’s desk and watching the dejected dog lie on the floor. “Somebody said it looked like one out of a pack that’s been terrorizing Evan’s and Owen’s dad’s sheep.”

“Sjusherdog,” Bob shrugged. “Resheremprully scurdidjeron sinonasalilrun. Saxon’s morinsupabot thisone.”

“He did really like those swans,” Danny agreed.

“Maybe we should bring him out to the pond, then,” Tony suggested. “Staker hasn’t reported any missing so far. It may not even have been his.”

Saxoon didn’t particularly want to go see swans anymore, but Bob had a calming presence that mellowed all Saxon’s objections, so that by the time they got there, Saxon had completely forgotten that their leisurely walk had a purpose. Standing on the edge of the fenced clearing, he could see several swans swimming about, and could smell others in hiding. Hardly an instant passed before one in particular leapt up the bank, stopping a few meters away from the dog and the man.



‘You’re late.’

‘You were dead…’

‘No, I wasn’t. I was waiting.’

‘There was an Outsider, he’d killed you-’

‘I’m not dead. I’m waiting.’

‘Waiting? For what?’

‘For you, of course.’

‘…Oh. Swan?’


‘I’m glad you’re alright.’

‘And I’m glad you’re a dog.’
Current Mood: pensivepensive
La Femme Crayola: K9 by martoufmartyannlarimer on August 22nd, 2007 01:58 pm (UTC)
You...you speak Bobish!
stelluci: Loserstelluci on August 23rd, 2007 05:59 pm (UTC)