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22 August 2007 @ 03:10 am
FICLEt BARAGE!  
Alright, I have here a HUGE number of ficlets. 15 to be precise. Have fun!

Title: Baby Bea
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 4.Silver
Word Count: 211
Rating: PG

-A Doris Fic



Doris found her first gray hair on a particularly dreary morning, covering the circles under her eyes from another rough night with heavy foundation.

Spotting it, she tossed her mascara in the sink, gripping the porcelain edge as the weight of her age settled. She may only have been 28, but being a single mother was taking its toll.

In the other room, baby Beatrice cooed, letting Doris know it was time to cuddle her again before they went for a walk, because Bea was a very clingy baby.

Passing quickly from the bathroom, into the hall, and back into her room, where the bassinet was set by her bed, she stooped and lifted Bea from the bed. Bea preferred it to her cradle, lying in the middle of Doris’s huge mattress as opposed to her cramped quarters in the bassinet nearby.

Today, the pictures on the dresser seemed more painful to the eye than before, a little troop of memories that Doris couldn’t stand to face as she grabbed the diaper bag from the floor: Her and Tom on their first date, at their wedding, Tom’s promotion, holding Bea…

Bea made a disgruntled sound as a tear Doris didn’t know she had left in her fell on the baby’s arm.


Title: Thunderstorm
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 9.Cloud
Word Count: 120
Rating: G

-The Turners


A warm breeze passed through the branches of the dogwood tree Evan and Owen were standing beneath, watching the thunderstorm fade into the distance, the faint rumbles of thunder like a thinning heartbeat. The rain had come in a deluge, lightning exploding from the heavens as thunder roared overhead, a sudden storm unlike any seen in Sandford for many years. There would be talk later that a tornado had touched down, and a shattered barn to prove it.

Their clothes were soaked, clinging to their skin, but the storm had taken the humidity with it. They smiled at one another, hardly able to believe they’d been dumb enough to take shelter under a tree, glad that they were both alright.


Title: Chrome Hounds
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 14.Blast
Word Count: 121
Rating: PG-13

-Video games with Andy, Nicholas, Danny and Doris


Andy tossed his controller on the coffee table, Nicholas slumping resignedly against the overstuffed couch, as Danny and Doris high-fived and cackled gleefully.

“You just got pwned!” Doris giggled.

“You fecking cheated!” Andy said indignantly.

“Says who?” Danny challenged, still laughing.

“You used the overweight cheat!” Andy nearly yelled. “Y’shouldn’t even be able to move with that many fixed guns! It’s cheating!”

“Hey, when you’re heavy, you’re allowed to throw a bit of weight around,” Danny quipped, he and Doris continuing to gloat.

“Just blast him in the face,” Nicholas said, shaking his head as they geared up for another go at it.

“I thought that was your job,” Andy grumbled, not comprehending why that made everyone else dissolve into giggle-fits.


Title: Memories and Swear Boxes
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 15.Blackened
Word Count: 117
Rating: G

-Andy and Doris


Doris jumped over a ruined filing cabinet, dodging an interior wall blackened from the flash-fire in the wake of the explosion. They were about to clear the site and commence rebuilding, so the Sandford Police had one day only to dig through the mess and find pieces of their old lives, mementos that they couldn’t bear to have sent to the landfill.

“I think I found it,” she said triumphantly, handing a slim plastic placard to Andy, the detective taking her hand to help her out of the rubble.

“That stupid NWA sign?” he smiled at her, seeing a touch of color in her cheeks. “Good on ya, Doris. Now if only we could find the swear box.”


Title: Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 19.Fabric
Word Count: 109
Rating: R

-Andrew/Andy smut


The fabric of Andy’s shirt was warm and damp, the pale skin beneath of a similar texture. The cloth of Andrew’s jeans clung to his hips with sweat and friction alone, the button and fly undone. There was music playing somewhere nearby, a block party down the street, carrying a gentle thump through the house, a rhythm to their movements. It was rare that they got to dance together, and raising the bar with a strip-tease was just part of the fun.

“I bet I can get you of those jeans in two seconds,” Andy laughed, leaning close.

“I’d like to see you try,” Andrew retorted.

And they did.


Title: Shattered Glass
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 26.Hex
Word Count: 186
Rating: PG-13

-Andrew and Andy


“I don’t believe it,” Andrew muttered, chucking a wadded-up police report at the dust bin, letting it bounce off the wall before falling into the green metal basket. “It’s just superstitious bullshit.”

“You’re not the one who broke the mirror,” Andy sighed, totally forlorn. He slumped forward in his chair, knuckles gripping the edge of the low-grade standard office junk the state afforded them, looking like he was going to be ill.

“Throw salt over your shoulder, don’t speak in the theatre, avoid cats…God, you people are fucking pathetic,” Andrew laughed derisively. He pursed his lips and gave Andy a scathing look. “Pull your tampon out, Sarah. Nothing’s going to happen.”

As soon as Andrew spoke, the dry-erase schedule finally broke free of the weak hooks and bubblegum collection they’d been using to keep it fixed to the wall and crashed down, smacking Andy in the head. Andy shrieked like a girl, and Andrew broke down laughing.

“If this is your bad luck,” Andrew laughed, nearly in tears as Andy glared at him, getting up from the floor, “I think I could get used to this!”


Title: Day Job
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 42.Complain
Word Count: 232
Rating: PG

-Random lameness


Ever since the explosive events surrounding the destruction of the subversive NWA, the Sandford Police Service had been having a hard time of it. It wasn’t so much the tourists, the rebuilding, the surge in citizenship, the discovery and identification of bodies, or even the task of putting each unidentifiable in the ground with only a bare funeral.

It was the calls

“It’s Gregory Hanson again,” Evan Turner sighed, handing the receiver to his ornery twin. “I think I need a spot of tea…”

“Hullo?” Owen Turner snarled, slumping into the chair his brother had just vacated.

“Yes, sorry,” Mr. Hanson said, though his tone was anything but apologetic, “It seems I’ve let my Wolf get away from me again. Would it be possible for someone to come out and give me a leg up?”

Wolf was Mr. Hanson’s mutt of a dog, reputedly half malamute and half timber wolf, and a hulking beast of an animal. He was also rather savage around children.

“We’ll have Sergeant Butterman out there in a little,” Turner grumbled, hanging up the receiver before Mr. Hanson could garble an objection. “You lot hear that, right?” he spoke into the radio just beside the phone’s cradle.

“Yes,” chorused several bored, stressed voices through the radio crackle. Danny, Tony and Doris were on patrol, with newbie Constables in tow, and they were having a real time of it.


Title: Matter of Appearance
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 57.Never Change
Word Count: 114
Rating: PG

-Andrew/Andy fluff


“D’you think I should shave?” Andrew asked randomly.

“…What??!” Andy asked, nearly falling out of his seat. “Why would you do that?”

“Eh, it’s kind of…ugly,” Andrew replied. He’d been feeling self-conscious about it since Nicholas started preaching protocol at everyone like it was his job, although technically, it sort of was.

“You’re fine the way you are,” Andy said, getting up and coming over to Andrew, who was regarding himself in the tiny mirror hanging in the corner by the door. “Don’t change yourself to make Angle happy.”

“I was actually thinking about you,” Andrew said, smiling at his partner.

“Well, I think you’re perfect,” Andy said, pulling Andrew close and kissing him.


Title: What Do They Know? (You’re It)
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 62.Force
Word Count: 174
Rating: PG-13

-Tony, Nicholas and Andrew at work


“Go ‘round the back!” Tony yelled, slamming into the garden gate with his shoulder, nearly taking it off the hinges as he burst through.

Nicholas dodged right, his hand digging into damp earth as he rapidly changed direction and leapt into a hard sprint. He could hear Tony yelling, but it seemed like a television in another room on low.

On the far side of the garden, he reached up to the top of the fence, hauling himself over, dropping to the other side in a low crouch. Catching a flash of movement, he sprang forward again, crashing into a man with blond hair and a wonky mustache, knocking the air from his lungs and sending him sprawling.

“Tony, I got ‘im!” Nicholas shouted, the other officer appearing beside him a moment later.

Smiling devilishly, Tony ducked down, tapped the man on the shoulder, and yelled, “You’re It, bastard!”

“S’not fair!” Andrew yelled, Nicholas leaping up with a laugh, the two Sergeants taking off before the poor detective could get to his feet.


Title: Guardian Angel
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 63.Meant to Be
Word Count: 135
Rating: PG-13

-Nicholas/Danny angst


The look on Nicholas’s face crushed Danny’s heart, so much sadness and fear pouring from his eyes with the tears that stained his cheek. He couldn’t hear his words, but studying his lips, Danny understood; ‘Everything’s going to be alright.’

He struggled to smile, the pain tearing his body apart turning more abstract, moving away from him.

Sound began to trickle in, people shouting and something burning, Nicholas weeping. Danny watched Nicholas buckle and break, losing his breath in the depths of an agonizing sorrow, letting his head rest against Danny‘s collar bone. Unable to comfort Nicholas, feeling himself float away, Danny forgot how to smile, how to breath, how to live.

“I love you,” Nicholas whispered, his mouth by Danny’s ear, his words meant for Danny alone.

And suddenly, Danny remembered how to breath.


Title: LiveJournal Instant Messenger Wars!
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 71.Shallow
Word Count: 250
Rating: R

-Guess


angel777 is Nicholas, purfektsundei is Tony, midlandsdeniro is Andrew, sergeant_rock is Danny, flippin_mad is Andy, and dontcountmeout is Doris.

angel777: So that was completely useless, that link?
sergeant_rock: Yeah, content unavailable or something…
dontcountmeout: That’s that Viacom thing, right? YouTube and Google and all those silly people getting all worked up…
midlandsdeniro has entered Talk.
midlandsdeniro: What’s up, benders?
purfektsundei: We were trying to send Danny that link you sent me last week, but they pulled the video.
flippin_mad: I had the link posted, but you lot don’t read your Friends pages ever.
midlandsdeniro: Sorry, Andy, I don’t read your gay fan fiction.
dontcountmeout: LAWL
angel777: That’s just not right. Do you really?
midlandsdeniro: He’s got a prompts list and a little table and everything.
flippin_mad: Do NOT start with me, Andrew Carter Wainwright.
purfektsundei: You two work too well together.
sergeant_rock: Yeah, they’re a cute couple, aren’t they?
dontcountmeout: Oooh, you two should get hitched! Start a little detective agency, mess around in crime scenes…
flippin_mad: That’s about a million shades of wrong, right there, that is.
midlandsdeniro: Oi, all you lot can fuck yourselves with a rusty knife. And Andy, everyone and his mother knows I own you, so pipe down.
angel777: Just keep it down in the office, will you? I’ll ignore it if I don’t have to listen to it.
flippin_mad has left Talk
midlandsdeniro: I better go check on him…
purfektsundei: Give him one from all of us!
sergeant_rock: ROFL-fecking-COPTER, man!
dontcountmeout: HEADDESKLAWL
midlandsdeniro has left Talk
dontcountmeout: C’mon, Nicholas, join the 1337 revolution!
angel777: I’ve told you all a thousand times, that stuff is for degenerates. It gives people a false impression of who you are.
purfektsundei: Join us, Nicholas…Join us…! You uptight cun-
sergeant_rock: xD Yeah boiiee!



Title: Identical
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 90.Kindred
Word Count: 154
Rating: PG

-The Turners


Owen and Evan Turner are polar opposites in every way. They like different fashions, different artists, different beers, different everything, as a direct result of having everything the same all throughout childhood and adolescence.

Owen likes science fiction, computer games, Triple X, radical atheist philosophers and red meat.

Evan likes dramatic non-fiction, gardening, chardonnay, The Used and roast duck.

They live on opposite ends of the village in vastly different homes, with photo-negative wives and an exact inversion of children; Owen has two sons and a daughter, while Evan has a son and two daughters.

But one morning at 4:45 am, they both received the same phone call and wound up in the same emergency room, waiting anxiously for word on their parents, who’d been in a ‘traffic collision,’ a sickening trend with the people of Sandford.

Sitting side by side, Evan allowed his hand to slip into Owen’s, his brother silently accepting it.


Title: Afraid of Niniveh
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 95.Wake
Word Count: 101
Rating: G

-Nicholas/Danny fluff


“Nicholas-!” Danny calls, floundering from sleep.

“I’m here,” Nicholas says reassuringly, having woken just before Danny.

He feels strong arms pulling him back, holding him close, reassuring heat at his back. Nicholas’s voice murmurs soft nothings in Danny’s ear, soothing his fears, cradling him from his dreams. A soft kiss is pressed to the nape of his neck, and Nicholas sighs, cuddling Danny to him, stroking his chest softly, smiling as he closes his eyes, drifting back toward sleep.

He knows Danny is asleep a moment before his eyes close, and that puts his heart at ease. Now he can sleep.


Title: Popular
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 96.Writer’s Choice
Word Count: 111
Rating: G

-Everybody teases Doris


“What d’you think ‘bout musicals?” Danny asked, poking through Doris’s CD’s.

“Not right now,” Doris replied, curling her lip.

“Not even Wicked?” Andy tested, raising his eyebrows.

Doris couldn’t resist the bait. She adored that show like a nun adores Jesus, and everyone could see her mental dilemma playing out across her face.

“C’moooon,” Danny teased, fishing it out of the community pile and waving it in her direction.

“Daniel Butterman, you are evil,” Doris said huffily, snatching the jewel case and flipping the plastic open, stopping short.

Everyone in the office laughed as she tossed the case on her desk, the CD replaced with a little note that read, ‘Punk’d.’


Title: Saint Nick
Fandom: Hot Fuzz
Character/s: General
Prompt: 97.Writer’s Choice
Word Count: 285
Rating: PG

-Nicholas/Danny fluff (must make self write something else for them...)


A homeless man had wandered into Sandford from Buford Abby, feeling it necessary to lie down by the fountain and die on a particularly cold night in December just before Christmas. His appearance had the children asking if Santa had died, and no amount of reassurance from the adults could soothe them.

At Church that Sunday, Danny had taken it upon himself to dress up in possibly the most disconcertingly convincing Santa costume ever and sit in on the Sunday school lesson. Nicholas had spied him at one point after the sermon, milling about amongst the sea of adoring eyes and excited voices, and when their eyes met, they had both felt something, like an immense joy, that made them grin so much it could qualify as hurting.

“Hey there, Saint Nick,” Danny joked when Nicholas got in late that night, carrying a small parcel that he stashed quickly in the front closet; it was hard to hide presents from Danny, though Nicholas tried.

“Should be your name, not mine,” Nicholas smiled, kissing Danny quickly on the lips, leaning his forehead close to rest against Danny’s. He half-smiled, judging Danny’s expression carefully before biting his lip, losing his courage.

“What is it?” Danny pressed, putting his hands on Nicholas’s hips, pulling him close.

“D’you…”Nicholas began, blushing, which made him look incredibly attractive in Danny’s mind, “D’you want to have children? I mean…d’you want to-”

Yes,” Danny said, throwing his arms around Nicholas’s neck and hugging him so tightly, caught between laughter and tears, completely ecstatic. He pulled back slightly, saying hurriedly, “Yes, I do, I think it’d be great. I mean, as long as you-”

“Of course,” Nicholas smiled, “I think we’d making smashing dads.”
 
 
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
 
 
 
Ixalpha_orionis_v on December 9th, 2007 09:50 am (UTC)
hahaha Holy shit! We play Chrome Hounds!